Stay wild Moon child

Gaia, a few days ago, you turned two.
I am looking at you and I cannot believe how fast time went by once more. You are such a strong willed little thing! You are a child of a few words but you always know how to make yourself understood.

This is a great gift.






You know what you want and how you want it. And you are hardheaded. You may be the youngest child but you have a World of your own. You know when you want to join your sister in a game and when you want to play on your own. You are fun. So much fun! You know how to put up a show and there are time, I have a hard time believing such a young body can hold so much humour!


You are a kind soul. You care so much: about people around you, animals, and even your dolls! And you are sweet too. Always up for a cuddle and a kiss - and you give the best hugs in the World! It makes people you love melt.

You are such a free spirit! You hate being held and restrained - in a seat, in a chair, in a carrier. It has to be on your own terms. You are happiest in the garden, in the water, around animals.

You are wild. You know, the kind of fun, crazy wild! You, sometimes, remind me of a fun version of a Nacho Libre. Running all around making weird sounds, rolling around, your tongue always sticking out, a big laugh out of your chest!

You are so easy to be around. You love all food, you sleep easily, you are mostly happy, actually. But oh boy, when you disagree, the whole World knows about it! You put guns instead of your eyes, take this high pitch angry voice and scream: Arrête! (Stop) Veux pas! (Don't want) Mine!

You are fierce, my love. And even if some days, we feel powerless in front of your willingness, I know it is important we never crush this or let anyone reduce it. Because you will need it in this World: to protect yourself, others and make great things.

You know, the day of your birth is a special day in many ways. You were born on the first anniversary of Yolanda, this terrible typhoon that hit your beautiful country so hard. On our first birthday, typhoon Ruby hit the Philippines as well. On your second birthday, America voted for a president that might change the face of the World.


But you, my love, you and your sister are our light.

And the love you have for one another is beautiful. And special.

The way you are looking for each other's hand when sleeping is priceless.

Nothing can change the fact that November 8 is a beautiful day. It was the day we got to meet you and be complete. It was the day your healing light started shining. You and your sister are our Hope.

And every single decision we are taking in our lives is for you girls. So you can live in a beautiful World, full of love, hope, happiness and people helping each other and caring for one another.

Because you inspire us to be better every day. Because you push us to have bigger dreams, higher hopes. Because we cannot stop thinking the World is a beautiful place as this is the World we brought you in and will leave you in.

And my heart expands in a magical way

“Before I had my child, I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible.” — Uma Thurman


So, I'm 7 months and half in my second pregnancy now.
And that has been a crazy roller-coaster. I guess that's why I have been so private about it.

First of all, it was not planned. At least, not this year. So, at first, I literally freaked out thinking it was too early, not prepared. I was looking at Alia, thinking she was still so small.

Alia introducing her sister Gaia Mayari!

But thanks to my awesome husband who reassured me we will always find a way, i started seeing all the good sides of it: sure, most of my friends already have the second one, so it's nice if our second one is not too far apart. They will grow up together, like our first ones did.

Plus I always said I will have my two kids before 30 and I got pregnant the second time around on my 29th year. So, the universe remembered what I wanted.

And, yes, Alia and our second one won't be too far apart as well. So it's nice for them.

Plus, let's face it, i'll be done with pregnancy and diapers faster this way!

Yes, I always wanted two kids, maybe 2 years apart. But once I had Alia, I had this fear: how can you possibly love more than one human being so much, unconditionally, deeply? How can your heart get split in two?

Now, I understand. Your heart doesn't split. Your love for one doesn't shrink.
Your heart gets bigger. It expand. It grows.

After eight weeks of morning sickness, being on my knees in front of the toilets every single day, laying on my couch feeling nauseous every second of the day, not being able to smell or eat or move much, I went to France.

I got blessed that morning sickness stopped for a few days, allowing me to take my three planes without having to run to the toilets onboard. I was alone with Alia, on a night flight. That was my biggest worry. But everything went fine. We arrived in France: I had lost a few kilos and had a big deficit of iron. It made me look like a gothic teenager more than a blooming mother-to-be.

When finally, my appetite slowly came back, we found out I had Toxoplasmosis. This silly bacteria you get from cats, unwashed vegetable and fruits or uncooked meat. Silly because, if you are not pregnant, this bacteria is nothing. You get it, you probably won't even notice, you are immune, end of the story. But if you are pregnant, real damages can be passed onto your baby's brain and eyes.

In the Philippines, it's not a common thing. So, they don't test you for it. In Europe, it is. The test is mandatory in France when you are expecting.

Normally, if you get it while you are pregnant, they will give you antibiotics until the end of your pregnancy to protect your baby. In my case, we had no idea when I contracted it. Therefore, we didn't know the risks the baby could be contaminated already.

As a prevention, I started to take some antibiotics. And we ran some tests to date the bacteria. And I had to change our tickets and stay one more month in France.

There was three scenarios laying in front of me.
Either I had it before getting pregnant, and our baby was safe.
Or I had it just when I arrived in France, and I would continue my antibiotics treatments.
The third one kept me awaken a few nights. If I had it during my three first months and the baby's brain was contaminated, I could do a amnio-synthesis to check the baby. Then I could have an IRM made a few months later and see the damages on the baby's brain. In France, you can choose to have a medical abortion at any time, in the worst cases. Do I need to say more?

We spent a month waiting for all the results. A month away from Daddy-Yo, freaking out alone in Sri Lanka. A month not saying to Alia she may (or may not) have a little sister in a few months. A month of not knowing if my baby was ok.

Until the news came: I got the toxoplasmosis right before I got pregnant. Our daughter was safe.

We found a name for her, of course. Gaia Mayari. Gaia: Earth, City of Light. Mayari: Goddess of the Moon in the Tagalog Mythology. A strong name for a strong girl.

Now, Daddy-Yo is still working in Sri-Lanka, missing his girls as much as we miss him. We got to see him for ten days for my 30th birthday. That was heaven!

Small celebration with Island family

Being by myself, pregnant and caring for a 2 and a half year-old is a roller-coaster.

It taught me I am strong. It taught me I am weak. It taught me I always need to improve my patience. It taught me that my daughter, Alia, is an amazing human being. Even more than I thought she was (and I thought she was pretty damn amazing already, believe me!)

She was the one stroking my hair and cheek while I was vomiting in the toilets. She was the one bringing water to me. She is the one asking if my tummy is "ouchy" and if "baby inside" is ok. She is the one hugging me out of nowhere while we are eating dinner. And kissing me in the morning to wake me up. And sleeping on my shoulder at night.

Very soon, Daddy Yo will be home and we will be a family again. Actually we never stopped being one. Being away from him so long taught me that when you find the one, even though you fight and argue sometimes, distance only makes you stronger.