Stay wild Moon child

Gaia, a few days ago, you turned two.
I am looking at you and I cannot believe how fast time went by once more. You are such a strong willed little thing! You are a child of a few words but you always know how to make yourself understood.

This is a great gift.






You know what you want and how you want it. And you are hardheaded. You may be the youngest child but you have a World of your own. You know when you want to join your sister in a game and when you want to play on your own. You are fun. So much fun! You know how to put up a show and there are time, I have a hard time believing such a young body can hold so much humour!


You are a kind soul. You care so much: about people around you, animals, and even your dolls! And you are sweet too. Always up for a cuddle and a kiss - and you give the best hugs in the World! It makes people you love melt.

You are such a free spirit! You hate being held and restrained - in a seat, in a chair, in a carrier. It has to be on your own terms. You are happiest in the garden, in the water, around animals.

You are wild. You know, the kind of fun, crazy wild! You, sometimes, remind me of a fun version of a Nacho Libre. Running all around making weird sounds, rolling around, your tongue always sticking out, a big laugh out of your chest!

You are so easy to be around. You love all food, you sleep easily, you are mostly happy, actually. But oh boy, when you disagree, the whole World knows about it! You put guns instead of your eyes, take this high pitch angry voice and scream: Arrête! (Stop) Veux pas! (Don't want) Mine!

You are fierce, my love. And even if some days, we feel powerless in front of your willingness, I know it is important we never crush this or let anyone reduce it. Because you will need it in this World: to protect yourself, others and make great things.

You know, the day of your birth is a special day in many ways. You were born on the first anniversary of Yolanda, this terrible typhoon that hit your beautiful country so hard. On our first birthday, typhoon Ruby hit the Philippines as well. On your second birthday, America voted for a president that might change the face of the World.


But you, my love, you and your sister are our light.

And the love you have for one another is beautiful. And special.

The way you are looking for each other's hand when sleeping is priceless.

Nothing can change the fact that November 8 is a beautiful day. It was the day we got to meet you and be complete. It was the day your healing light started shining. You and your sister are our Hope.

And every single decision we are taking in our lives is for you girls. So you can live in a beautiful World, full of love, hope, happiness and people helping each other and caring for one another.

Because you inspire us to be better every day. Because you push us to have bigger dreams, higher hopes. Because we cannot stop thinking the World is a beautiful place as this is the World we brought you in and will leave you in.

“Home isn't a place, its a feeling”

“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.” 

― Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care


I am lucky.

I am lucky, because I have more than one place I can really call home.
I am lucky because I have people in many places I can call family.
I am lucky because I have friends, some since my tender childhood and some that came later in my life that never left my side, wherever we are in the World.
I am lucky I grew up in a beautiful countryside my children are able to experience every year.

Charles, my eldest friend and I, in my parent's garden.

When I moved to the Philippines, it was a natural move. I felt it was the next step I had to take. It was not hard, not heartbreaking, not challenging. Just natural.
I was not escaping a hard past, a relationship or a terrible country.
I was exploring and taking a step towards my independence and most importantly, I was making my own choice.
My parents raised us to be free to choose what we wanted to be (even though now, they may have doubts it was ever a good idea: it was, really).

Once I moved here, I never thought I could feel the need of coming back home.
I am happy here, I built my life here, grew my family here.
And even if I loved my country for the beauty of it, I left a country that was going through an economic crisis and where opportunities for people my age were not really great.

Playing at the park in France

I was never homesick. Just extremely happy to go home every year and enjoy great time with family and friends, amazing food and beautiful road trips. I was enjoying being a tourist in my birth country.

I felt like I had the best of both Worlds.
And I still do.

Once I gave birth to Alia though, things started to shift very slowly.
I rediscovered France with another eye.
I started feeling a pinch of homesickness every time I would think about something I used to do or eat at her age and how I wanted her to experience it.

Daddy Yo, Alia and Gaia in Anilao

The first two years of Alia's life, we kept going to France and visit only for a month. But when Daddy Yo went to work abroad for the first time, Alia and my pregnant self went to visit my parents. I was planning on staying a month but when complications with my pregnancy came, I had to extend another month. When it was time to go home, I realised it was the first time since I left my birth country that I stayed such a long period there. And on top of that, we did not travel around like the other years, we mainly stayed in the home I grew up in. It gave me a great amount of time to see friends and hang out with family.


When Daddy Yo went to work abroad for the second year, I thought: I really enjoyed being in France for two full months! Usually, we were only staying 4 weeks, travelled around for 2 full weeks and had very little time to see all the people we wanted to see. We would manage to squeeze in one dinner or lunch with every person we wanted to spend time with, which was not enough to really get to enjoy their presence and catch up with them.

So that second year, I decided to stay two months again. And the end of these two months came so quickly. Of course, it was awesome as we were going to visit Daddy Yo where he was working, so it was one more family adventure. But, all these trips and plane alone with two children wore me out. I went home exhausted and kept on being sick. Dengue virus was the last warning my body was giving me to make me understand I was tired and needed a little rest.

Playing in a wooden playground near a pond in France

This year, we took the decision to only go to France. No visit to Daddy Yo, which was a big and hard decision but a wiser one. And I asked my parents if they minded adopting me and the two girls for three long months. It felt amazing to be there. My mom was freshly retired so I had extra hands to help. My sister and I never had such a great bonding and she spent some great time with her two nieces. We got to spend so much time with my family and I got to spend much time with childhood friends, old and new friends. I even received, over a weekend, one of my very best friend who was visiting her in-laws from Australia. I have not seen her for 9 years and our children (who are the exact same age) met for the first time. They instantly became such amazing friends, it was heartwarming to see!


We had the opportunity to enroll Alia to kindergarden for the two last months of school year, so she could have activities and improve her french. Schools in France are free and mandatory so any child with a French citizenship is welcome anytime to join a new school. It has been a great experience for her! She is now speaking fluently in french to me, had a great time visiting the farm, playing with kids of the village where we live, getting to know the customs in France.

First day of school with warm clothes, new language, new classmates: Fun time!

School fair in Alia's school

I also spent some quality time with some very dear family members who are sick.
I may live on the beach and enjoy life where I am, but as an immigrant living far away from my own country, I am missing things out. This includes being present for your loved ones when they are going through hard time, sickness, problems, depression, or are just getting old. And it sometimes feels so heavy and challenging. I do sometimes feel like I am not fulfilling my role of friend, grand-daughter, cousin, niece...

 



We got to enjoy quality food, organic vegetables, good quality meat, amazing cheese. Food that I am not scared of putting in my daughter's body thinking of all the hidden antibiotics and GMO that might make them pubescent too early. Alia and Gaia took some poney lessons, rode the carousel endlessly, ran in the fields, went to the cinema to see beautiful indie children movies, visited a farm, baked with my sister, made a fire in the chimney when it was cold, jumped in the inflatable pool when it was hot, ran around and played with friends, mowed the lawn with their grand-dad, gardened and planted and watered flowers (and picked a lot on the way), played piano, learned how to behave in a restaurant, enjoyed food, food and more food, had a road trip in Switzerland to visit more family...

    

                                                        

I was also in France during a very painful time for all of us. Terror attacks.
The past ones that happened, I was in the Philippines. I felt lonely. It was just an awful event that had happened in the news for most people around me. And even if I could talk about it with Daddy Yo or a few other people, it kept on following me every second of the day for weeks.
It happened in my streets, to my friends, friends of my friends. I was far away. I could not hug them. I could not join the protests and the walks and reflect on what happened in the streets of the district I called home for 6 years in Paris.

A fire in the chimney to warm our hearts and soul

When the attacks happened on July 14th and a few days after again, it felt horrific and scary. But as weird as it sounds, I was surrounded by people who would talk about it and share my feelings. It did not drive me as crazy as the attacks of November and January 2015 because I could unload what I felt with people who felt the same way. I was there and I could share my pain. And my pain was lighter just by sharing it.

Yes, I have the best of both Worlds. And I want to keep it this way.
But it can also be challenging to jump from one World to another.
This is when you realise you can also be homesick for people.

The beautiful Eiffel Tower a few days after the attack in Nice, France.

"Everything you can imagine is real"

It's been ages I haven't wrote even though I thought about it every single week.
Our beginning of year was crazier than we even expected!

Alia, in Vigan, enjoying the crowd watching her show 

Here we were after Vigan, going to Caliraya (for a "no-kid" weekend) then back to Boracay for a couple of days only, before flying again to Manila and picking up my parents. We flew directly to El Nido, Palawan in a beautiful place we rented for a week. Between days chilling in the swimming pool and boat trips discovering the beautiful beaches around, we didn't have time to get bored! Unfortunately, Alia got sick and ended up with 39.9° of fever in the middle of a boat trip we had to cut short to rush to the nearest clinic. The day after, she was fine! And it was the end of our Palawan holidays.

Tatay and daughter time in the middle of the kites for Daddy Yo's first competition

Visiting Vigan by night on a horse-drawn carriage

Alia still managed to visit the secret lagoon, where she had to jump off the boat, swim in open sea for a 150 meters, pass under the rocky mountain to end up in a hidden cove with an amazing white sand beach! She was less scared than me and enjoyed the swim back and forth so much!

We got to see Sea Turtles swimming around the boat, great places you can only access by boat and stay in a really relaxing place, away from the noise, the crowd and the bars.

Alia, at the hidden cove, after the long swim!

El Nido, view from our room...

Back in Manila, we had to think again about our plans to celebrate her second birthday under the tents in Malasimbo Festival. As she was feeling better but had a slight fever again when we arrived in Manila, we decided it was safer to cancel our musical trip. We don't want to risk anything when we are camping in the middle of nowhere!

So here we were, going back to Boracay earlier than expected to celebrate Alia's Indian second birthday! We had a fun little barbecue party with her and our closest friends and an afternoon of fun outside with the kiddie pool and the water hose.

Indian cake for an indian party!

After a week and half with my parents, enjoying Boracay and the house, we finally had some time for us. We cancelled our trip to Puerto Princesa, as we believed Alia needed to enjoy her friends and stay a bit home: our little trail-blazer needed some rest.

Enjoying our "no-kid" weekend with friends

We then, planned the next part of our adventure year.
As Daddy Yo really wanted to work for a season abroad and got an invitation in a really cool kite school in Sri Lanka, he booked his tickets for 3 months there.
I and Alia decided to visit my family ahead of time this year so I could spend my 30st birthday at home.

So here we are, in France! Missing Daddy Yo every single day and we know he does too. But I am thrilled he's realizing one of his wish of spending a season abroad and enjoying it!

Alia becoming a country girl but doesn't forget to put lipstick on first

Due to health issue, I had to extend my trip to another month. It's been a long and rocky road but now, I'm all good and happy. Homesick. But grateful the worries are behind me!

All I want for Christmas

The end of the year has been a very weird one.


I always love Christmas time. It is about getting together, cooking, finding the special thing to offer to your loved ones.

We started Christmas by a really nice get together with all the moms, dads and babies of our Baby Boomers group. And I hosted it. It was like a storm just passed through my house again! But how joyful was this day!

All moms came with something to grill or cooked. I baked loads of cinnamon biscuits that we hang in the Christmas tree. We had an exchange gift for all the kids to enjoy this special day.

We ended up with 13 moms, 6 dads and 16 kids in the house.

The day was so hot and sunny, we set up the little pool and the inflatable slide. The kids were running around, playing with water, the parents were enjoying the laughter and the wine.


On Christmas day, we welcomed Daddy Yo's family for the first time in our house. His parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew. And of course, our closest Island family: Bogs, Lian and the kids.

Lechon for dinner!

Mostly Alia's gifts of course..

Live music

Astro tatay got an astro bag!

My sister-in law and Lian, my partner in crime

After spending the all day cooking, I ended up a little off. I realized I missed my family for Christmas.
It's been 7 years since I spent my last Christmas with them, in my parents place.

We usually all gather there, in the countryside, cook all together and set up a buffet.

We eat foie gras and seafood and drink wine around the chimney then open the gifts under the big pine-smelling tree standing in the veranda.

You can guess the cold outside but you cannot feel it as the whole house is warm from love and burning wood.


There is that smell of Christmas that I missed this year. The wood. From the fire and from the tree.


When everyone is satisfied, some go to sleep and some stay around the fire drinking more wine and talking until we all cannot stay awake anymore. Everyone will go back to its bedroom or mattress thrown on the floor.

In the morning, we will all wake up slowly and meet in the kitchen to finish the night's left over.
Foie Gras, fresh juice and tea was my Christmas breakfast until I moved here, in the Philippines.

We will all get ready and play with the kids. Then, we will take a walk in the countryside before eating some more. After lunch, some will go home. Some will stay for an extra couple of days.

When we are together with my family, we always try to extend every minute or hours to keep that warm feeling in the air.

Then, the house is quiet again. But the smell of the wood is there.

This year, i was not there with them again. And it was the last Christmas we got with my uncle, Gilles.
He left us suddenly on the morning of the 31st, his amazing wife by his side, as always.

Next Christmas, I will be in France, with my family. I want Alia to experience the warmth of the winter in our house. I will miss my uncle's bad jokes. But I will be with them. And I will smell the wood.

Where is the kid in you?

A week and half ago, Daddy Yo was out.

I laid down next to a sleeping Alia and enjoyed a me time. Watching a french movie it was!
The movie was called "L'âge de raison" or the Age of reason.

You know when you are 7? In France, we call this like that because this is the time you think you are always right.

Story short, this was this very successful woman who totally forgot about her childhood and past as she is so busy and focused on her carrier, meetings, investments, contracts and financial growth of her company. Until she receives all this letters from the 7 year-old she was.
As a little girl, she went to see a Notary and asked him to send all this letters to herself 25 or 30 years later. This Notary was s touched he kept his promise. Now old and retired, this is his last duty.
Of course, her life was turned upside-down by all this and it ended well.

It made me think about me, before. How was I? What did I wanted to be? How did I hope my life would be? When I was a teenager with a head full of dream?

At around 7 or 8, with my childhood friend Charles

Well, when I was a kid/teen, I was dreaming of being:

- A veterinary surgeon for wild animals (specially wolves and lions)
- A circus acrobat and trapeze artist
- Live in a Gipsy community, bare feet and long skirts, riding horses on the beach of Camargue (don't ask why, I always thought I must have Gipsy roots)
- Live in Jamaica and play drums all day long, listening to Bob Marley

Until I was 14, I wanted to be a vet. Then I had a week internship in our friend's clinic.
I discovered that being a vet includes put down animals. And it cured me from wanting to be one.

I kept my circus dream for quite a long time. My cousin introduced me to circus life when we were 6 years old. She now lives from it. When I was living in Paris and she would come to visit from Switzerland, we used to have mini-acrobatic shows in from of Pompidou museum, in the streets.
We did this until I was 19 and got an unrelated big injury on my back that left me unable to do sports for a couple of years. Now, one of my favorite things in life is still looking at Circus and dance shows.

My cousin Melissa, artist extraordinaire.

About the two next dreams, it lasted until, well... now.
It started at 14 when my childhood friend, Charles and I, dreamt of living in Jamaica, play drums and do skateboard for a living. With some friends, we wanted to create a community where we would all live together and raise our kids as a big hippy community.

My childhood friend, Charles a year ago in the Philippines
when he became the Godfather of Alia.

Looking back, I can say... I did not lost myself much since I was a kid!

Now living on a small Island in the Philippines, walking bare feet on the sand everyday, playing drums with Daddy Yo and Alia. Living how I wanted to live my life.

That is also how I want to raise Alia. Without her loosing the kid in her. So she can grow with her dreams and be who she wants to be, how she wants to be.

I will tell her that I will love her whatever the way she chooses. I will teach her at the end of the day, it is more important to be happy inside than pleasing others.

So in our house, she is allowed to make noise, eat with her hands, climb everything, choose to wear her denim short with a striped shirt and dots shoes, roll of the floor to play, spill water, write on the walls with a pencil, make a mess and help us clean. She is just a little kid and we are two big ones. Still.

It's been too long, my friends.

It's been five months since my last post.

Five long months filled with craziness and business (as in busy!).

Five months when we finally finished building our nest, moved in, went to France to visit my family, Alia grew up too fast, started a new job, survived the biggest typhoon that ever made landfall. 

There is so much to say. But I'm gonna make it short as I don't want to write a 3 volume book for the first time in so many months.

Finally being Home is the best feeling in the World. 

It was a long and hard process. And doing that on top of having a baby was crazy. Add the first year marriage and two massive and crazy puppies on top and you have the craziest year. 

But now, taking the time to fill it up with memories and decorating it is an incredibly nice feeling. 

It's like having a white canvas and infinite colors. And having an unlimited amount of time to do what you want and create your space.

We are almost done with our living room and are working on our room. 

Being able to welcome friends for dinner, organize play dates, hang out at home for days and build Alia a proper play ground is great. Even if Alia's favorite activity right now is to draw on the walls! Well, we have a left-handed artist in the house!

Alia had a blast in France and we had our first no-kids-three-days-date in Rotterdam.

 

She got to spend quality time with her grand-parents, play with her cousins, pick strawberries and raspberries in the farm, eat some freshly cooked food from Lola with the vegetables of the garden, help her Tatay and Lolo gardening, run after the hens and pick up the eggs in the morning, have her first dental check up from Lola with her cousin, swim in the lac of Annecy, meet some family in Alsace even I never met, play a lot with her ninong Lapin and tito Sushi (I think she got some artistic tips from them as they both are amazing artists), run and run and run in the garden of my parent's house.

Alia helping Daddy Yo gardening and proud

Daddy Yo, looking at his baby becoming a 

Mountaineer like him.

Daddy Yo and I had a blast as well. 

We got to make a sweet escape of three days in Rotterdam to visit an extraordinaire friend of us, dancer at Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson the Immortal Tour. The city was really cool, the people are amazing, Pom's family was so welcoming and made us feel like we knew them forever. Plus, I got to go to a club for the first time in a hundred years (there is only beach clubs in Boracay) and got to drink and party without thinking about going home to feed Alia. I got to go home at 3am and sleep until 11am. This was a really cool feeling but being apart from Alia was still a major thing. Won't happen too often...

I got to see my family, enjoy my cousins, spend my birthday in a beautiful house above the lac of Annecy with childhood friends, have barbecue with friends, share love and good news and beautiful vibes.

The highlight of my birthday celebration was when my Tita Catherine brought me with her for a tour of aerobatics. She is a aerobatics World Champion! Daddy Yo had his turn the first year we visited France together and this time was mine. What a crazy, breathtaking, brain shaking experience. I¨felt like I lost all bearings. Nothing was like it was supposed to be. After some loopings and tumblings in the air, it took a soda, a hot bath and a good night of sleep to feel normal again!

Getting ready for the big moment

Now, Alia is all grown up. 

She is talking more and more. She now has words in English, French and  Tagalog. She is mixing it all and start creating pluri lingual sentences. 

After a few month of tantrums due to language frustration, she is learning how to use her words more and more. It gets funnier and easier for us to communicate.

When my parents came to visit the Philippines last month, we had an awesome time visiting Baguio again and shopping for the house. But when we went home to Boracay, we had to anxiously prepare for the biggest and stronger Typhoon that ever made a landfall. That was scary but we survived. Boracay was so blessed and lucky. The eye of the Typhoon was supposed to be on us and wash us away with 7 meter waves. 

But it came earlier than expected, on low tide, which saved us from a water surge. And just before landing on us, the eye veered left, the rain calmed down and Yolanda Typhoon spared us and our beautiful Island. You cannot imagine the joy we all felt when we realized the damages we had were nothing compared to what we were expecting. And you cannot imagine the shock we all had when we realized many places of our beautiful country were devastated, flat, washed away. The number of dead kept on rising and the few images we got to see (whenever one of us could find a place on the Island that had electricity) were unspeakable. 

With a group of friends, we felt we could not stay without doing anything. It was only normal for us to hold hands and help our countrymen. Many groups in Boracay and around the Philippines got organized and started some actions. Here, you can find every details of how we, in our little way, are helping and how you can help: https://www.facebook.com/?q=#/LifeAfterYolanda?ref=br_tf

Daddy Yo is the best with tripod and composition!
Notice the twin outfit of Alia and I.. :)

One glass of wine + one glass of wine makes 5 bottles of wine!

Last night, we had a mommies night out.

Being a mom is tiring and turns your life upside down. Some subjects are supposed to be taboo. 

Moms are not supposed to complain about their kids.

Sex life is supposed to start again normally 6 weeks after delivery.

Doubts are not allowed.

And many more...

And suddenly, in a small wine bar in this small island in the middle of the Philippines, 7 women are sharing real life stories, without shame.

We were planning to meet at 9 and be home by 11, after a nice glass or two of red wine.
Who knew we all needed this so much??
It ended up being one of the latest, funniest and greatest night I had in a very long time.

I can't disclose anything that was said during that night as sensible souls could read this and not believe we are actually responsible and sane mothers of one or two children.

I can only say how blessed I am to be part of such a group.
And how grateful I am for the honesty that all of us brought to this table last night.

Between our raw talks about sex, fun stories about our partners, crazy stories about kids and shared doubts about future, the waitresses were amused, puzzled and had a blast also, I believe.

What I love with this amazing group of friends I have?
Sharing is easy. No judgement.
Once you open up, you realize we are all the same. We are not crazy, we are moms!
All of us went through the same things. Sometimes, we are shy to talk about it thinking we are alone. But once you hear the stories of other moms, you feel comforted and you start being able to laugh about it.

I remember when I was a teenager, my mom didn't want to join the "all girls lunch" organized by some friends as she knew it was an opportunity for them to bitch about their husbands and complain. And she didn't like that.

I love the fact that our mommies night out are not made for criticizing the Daddies. It's about sharing funny stories, fights, doubts but always with love and respect for them.

We ended up going home at 1:30 in the morning, tipsy, happy, laughing in the streets after 5 bottles of wine, a huge cheese plater and a lot of love shared.

Funny fact was that the Daddies were calling us to come home because of babies awaken and out of worry: It's unusually late for this girls. How come they are still out there in the middle of the night?
Boys, if you only knew...

Mondays moms are totally on!

Thank you mommies for being here, honest, fun, raw. Thank you for being part of this amazing group!