Drugs and other tales

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, As long as I am not breastfeeding, I would make good use of a bottle of wine! Or even a bottle of Tequila...

Like, the whole bottle, or maybe two or three! BUT, I am still taking medicines so it is out of question for my biggest disappointment. Or two days in a SPA by my own, away from any responsibility. At least, I won't have the hangover.

Yesterday evening was surprisingly fine. Alia was tired, she drank her bottle in my arms then fell asleep very fast (in our bed). Boom, 7:30pm. Easy!

I made sure to explain her over and over again why I cannot breastfeed her: "I am taking medicines and this medicines are going in my milk so the milk is not good for you for the time I will take them. It is because I am sick and I don't want you to be sick so I am trying to recover very soon! But I love you so much and on Saturday, the boobies are ALL yours!"

Then she woke up a little while after and it was a bit more challenging to put her back to sleep but I managed without even giving her milk. Only cuddles and comfort. I was kinda proud at this point and thinking it was going to be quite easy after all.

Then she woke up at 2 am and cried, cried, cried, cried... until 4:30 am. Pushing the bottle away, screaming in my arms while pulling my shirt, screaming in Daddy Yo's arms. We were tired and helpless. I ended up sitting on the floor while he was trying to put her back to sleep for the unpteenth time. My milk was leaking, my boobs were so painful and my headache was making it impossible for me to go to the kitchen and pump. Thanks to the antibiotics, I got dehydrated and started to have pain while peeing (yes, here is the naked truth of a mom under antibiotics, sorry!)

She finally fell asleep on Daddy Yo's chest and slept until 8 am. Nice, would you tell me, right? But I was up a bit before 7, with a massive headache, going to pee every 15 minutes. 

I went back to sleep for an hour while Alia was sleeping after breakfast. A precious hour. Very very precious. As she didn't feel asleep until... 7:15 pm. After a lot of cuddling, reassuring words, lullabies and dancing.

She spent the afternoon crying, pulling my shirt, playing, crying again as she was so sleepy, drinking her bottle then pushing it away for the next meal. And I spent the afternoon crying, feeling guilty for being sick (Stupid, right? As if I could do anything against it. But you know, Guilt still kicked at my front door), pumping and holding my painful head.  A hell of an afternoon for both Alia and me.

     Loosing it in a good way!

Good friends came to visit. That highlighted my day! 

One of our mommy friend came to announce us that we can get our puppy whenever we want after I recovered (Puppy!!!!!!!!!!!! Cute black and brown puppy!! Half Labrador, half Husky). We already baptised him Pampu.x

Another dear friend who gave birth to the cutest boy a month and half before me (one of Alia's best travel/play date/learning buddy so far) came with a flower, food and a good chat. How good do you feel after that?!!! Before knowing I had a huge stock of breast milk in my fridge, the first thing she offered me was to pump a bottle of milk a day for Alia (if ever Alia was going to take formula while I could not feed her). Telling you that I appreciated her offer is beyond it! There are no words to express my feelings. I was deeply touched.

Tomorrow, I will start my day by a breakfast in my friend's place so Alia can play with her son. And I believe our day will be better.

As Bernard Meltzer was saying, "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

For better or For Worse

The worst thing that could happen to the breastfeeding mom I am just happened.

I am not allowed to breastfeed Alia for 3 days due to an intake of antibiotics.

It's been a few days I was feeling tired and my throat was sightly painful but I did not mind it as we were too busy packing our stuffs to move in a bigger place.

We moved in on Sunday (thankfully, good friends of Daddy Yo did ALL the "carrying-all-the-heavy-boxes so I didn't have to carry anything but Alia) and I spent the evening unpacking things. On monday morning, I woke up and carried some furnitures to put them here and there and unpacked some more boxes before going to work.

In the evening, I started to feel really tired.
Then cold. I live in the Philippines and it's never really cold here.
I went to sleep early with Alia and woke up shaking. Daddy Yo covered me with a lot of blankets but I was still cold. I check my temperature: 38.5°C!

My head was painful, my glands were swollen in the throat and I was feverish.
I spent the night feeding Alia and waking up because of the pain.

On tuesday, thankfully, I was allowed to stay at home until I recover. The whole day, the fever went up and down and the pain was so strong in the whole area of my head. I slept more than Alia. The only way I could sleep was to put this iced gel pack on my eyes.

In the evening, I was shaking again. I went to sleep with 38.8°C.

Last night was the same than the night before. Waking up all the time, taking paracetamol, putting some iced gel pack on my eyes.

This morning, we went straight to the doctor who explained me I am having an infection due to nasal congestion that leads to an ear congestion. The only way I could recover was antibiotics and pain killers.

I asked her if, by any chances, this antibiotics was compatible with breastfeeding and of course, she explained me that most antibiotics are not, this one included.
She saw the tears coming up my eyes and told me she could give me the 3 days solution. I accepted, went home, cried while pumping, feed Alia and took my medicines.

The only good thing is I always had so much milk I was pumping and freezing it just in case something like this would happen. So Alia has like 2 liters of milk inside the fridge. She will still drink my milk but out of a bottle. Milk in a separate freezer can stay up to 6 months frozen. Think about it!!!

Since I took my medicines, she had a very hard time falling asleep because she didn't understand why she could not breastfeed before sleeping. We fed her her lunch and still she was pulling my shirt and crying.

And my heart is breaking...

The hardest gonna be during the nights as she never wanted to take a bottle if I was next to her. We might put her in her crib as it will be worst if she can smell my milk.

Daddy Yo and I are going to have a few long nights ahead of us...

Good morning World... and good night!

Today was the day I went back to the office! First time in 8 months...

Challenging day as Daddy Yo left at 5am for a short trip to Manila. So, here I and Alia are. Daddiless for three days. Hopefully we have an amazing nanny, Ate Jen, who started working for us when Alia was a month old. It's so important so find someone who you can trust with your eyes closed and leave your baby without worrying every second!

Early this morning, Daddy Yo kissed us goodbye: I was awaken enough to register he was leaving but not enough to really answer him back. "Ummmmmfffff" was the only thing I could actually tell him. Alia was sound asleep next to me. Until 6am, when I heard her giggling and saw her crawling backward, her feet already at the edge of the bed.

THAT woke me up!

After jumping to grab her, putting her back in the middle of the bed and building a wall of pillows (around her and on the floor), I threw all her toys in front of her and allowed myself half an hour of extra sleep (to be ready to go back to work without falling asleep on the keyboard of my computer of my first day).

The next thing I know was that Sophie beat me up. For those who know her, yes that Sophie, the Giraffe, the one and only, infamous, favorite rubber toy for teething! The same one Alia loves to grab, bite, pull, hit and throw. This time, Alia was holding the poor thing by the head and was furiously banging it on the bed (and my head at some point).

Anyway, THAT woke me up pretty hard and for good (I should check for bruises on my face by the way)!

I then, decided I slept enough. Or Alia decided. Even Sophie the Giraffe got into my way of sleeping longer. After a well deserved coffee, a good breakfast, a fast shower, feeding Alia, pumping some milk and preparing myself mentally (more for leaving Alia 5 hours than going back to work), I left under the rain.

Five hours, it is long without her. I rushed home to hear Alia starting crying when I reached the garden. She looked at me with her teary eyes and welcomed me with open arms. My heart melted as I squeezed her and drowned her with kisses!

After giving birth, my friends and I went to a "Mommies and Babies" yoga class. Our amazing and beautiful teacher told us one thing that I will never forget: Moms who are working are lucky. Even if it seems hard to leave our babies behind, we get the chance to miss them, show them a good example of sacrifice and independence, have some time for us and come back home as better moms.

It's going to be hard sometimes, I'll need to adjust myself. But I am grateful I have the opportunity to go back to work and use my brain, set my daughter a good example of independence and feel all her Love flooding me when I come home!

Tomorrow, I am ready again!

Apart from Sophie the Giraffe...

"A cheerful friend is like a sunny day spreading brightness all around!"

Today, we were off to Nabaoi for the second birthday of Alia's friend.

Amazing bamboo house near the river, good food, great company. Most of Alia's friends were there and they got to play, grab each other's hair, swim...

Anyway, let me explain more about Alia's friends. And mine, by the way.

We live on a small island in the Philippines. About 10 square kilometers. And a lot of good friends from everywhere around the world who decided to live the Life by moving here (I am one of them). We manage hotels, own restaurants, teach kitesurfing or yoga, run our small businesses, and party.

Between 2010 and 2012, quite a few of my girlfriends got pregnant (including me): nothing weirdly planned ahead but the fact is more than 10 babies were born, one after another, to create a happy bundle of playmates! And a few more are on their way... How fun you will tell me. Yes, indeed!

But being a mom is hard. And tiring. And frustrating even, sometimes. Come on, if motherhood was easy, dads would do it, right?

So, a few times a week, we meet to go out of the house, have grown-up time while our kids play together, seek for advices, talk about our joys and fears, unload our tiredness and clear our minds on the beach or at each other's place, around a drink or lunch.

Who else better than another mom can understand when you are so tired you hold it against your baby's cry for a second before hating yourself for doing so? Or how hard it can be to cope with the daddies' totally different way to deal with fatherhood (it does not make them any less amazing dads)? Or the challenge to go back to work and keep breastfeeding? The lack of sleep? The body modification? Need I keep going?

I am lucky to live in a place where everybody know each other. Where the longest ride you can take is 15 mins by tricycle, where you can even walk to any places you want to go. Where your work is never far from your house and there is always someone to help you.

I live in a "holiday-spirit" all year round.

But what makes really easier the fact of being a new mom is my group of mommies. Not only our babies already have a lot of playmates to grow up with, I have found way more than just friends. A ear to listen, a shoulder to cry and a good spirit to have a glass of wine and laugh when the babies are sound asleep!