“Not all those who wander are lost”

New Year was a very quiet one for me. 

We had dinner at some friends then went on the beach to watch the fireworks for the countdown. 

It was pouring heavy rain and a few meters from the beach, Alia was throwing up her dinner.

So we just waited a couple of minutes until midnight then ran home to cuddle up in bed while Daddy Yo was back on the beach to celebrate.

Alia was a little sick for two days after that but apparently, it was something she ate so it was gone as fast as it came.

I thought 2014 was not a good year for me, looking at its beginning!

But then, hey! You cannot just let it be like this. So I thought I am going to make it a great year.

Then, everything came one after another.

It started by an invitation to help the Philippine Kiteboarding Association during their ITCSI Tour. 

Daddy Yo decided to join the competition while I was part of the crew. Of course, Alia was running around the whole 3 days, happy to have so many people around. 

Santa Maria beach, in Ilocos Sur

Then, they invited me to join the rest of the Tour as the PKA secretary. All expenses paid. 

Guess what? I said yes, of course!

A few days after that, I was offered to write for Boracay Sun, our Island newspaper.

Since it got new owners and they are changing everything to make it more local and life-style focused, I liked the idea and jumped onboard.

The same week, two close friends and I met about this project we were talking about for the past few months and started doing some real work.

Then, the Philippine Swimming Mermaid Academy, for who I am an instructor, offered us some dance class for us to stay in shape for the shows MGM Macau and other hotels start to offer us.

Knowing my parents are coming to visit us soon, we prepared a trip to El Nido, Palawan because we all always wanted to visit this place. Then I had a great idea!

Every year, we are going somewhere in Asia for holidays. And it’s quite a budget.

A street in Vigan

So this year, we will take advantage of the PKA Tour and instead of going around Asia, we will stay home and visit our homeland.

Mid january, we packed our bags and took Alia to spend a few days in Manila with friends and family. 

Then, we took a 8 hours bus to Vigan, Ilocos Norte. We saw some amazing untouched and unspoiled beaches, the beautiful Heritage Town of Vigan and kept on eating amazing food while working on the Tour. 

For the story, Vigan is one of the UNESCO Heritage Site as it is one of the last place in Philippines where you can walk in the Spanish Town. There are amazing old houses and carriages with horses all around that you can take for a visit of the town.

The bus ride was really tough of me. Alia slept all through the trip but laying down on my arm. So I could not sleep or move much. I ended up with a huge and painful stiff neck. 

Alia was once more the star of the event. All the local kids were staring at this little ball of energy who was running on the beach and jumping in the water. So much that even the adults started following her show. 

Of course, she was so happy about the attention and took advantage of it.

Alia, giving a show to the local kids in Vigan

We went back in Manila last Monday, spent time in Republ1c wakeboard Park in Novali, went to the cinema, saw an exhibit of our friend Romeo Lee and packed our bags again to spend the weekend in Caliraya lake.

This time, Roldan’s parents and family convinced us to leave Alia with them so they coud enjoy her company.
Of course, I regretted it as soon as I said yes but well, she is having a blast with her cousins. The problem is me and my total dependance on her. Mother’s love!

We spent 3 days on this breathtaking tiny weeny itsy bitsy island, surrounded by coconut trees, pine trees and clear water. And about 40 kiteboarders!

The place was so small, you could walk all around in about 12 minutes. To reach the island, we had to step on a barge and pull a string to bring us to the shore. Same thing everytime you want to buy something in the store.

I felt like a kid!! I believe I crossed a couple of time just for the pleasure of pulling the barge back and forth!

We had a total blast and it felt as if we were teenagers again.

The only down part was being without Alia. I was scared I would not have any milk for her after that weekend.

I had to hand express a couple of time and it was sore and painful. But it all worth it at the end of the day.

I also got to remember the first time I ever left Alia.

Father and Daughter's playing time in UP, Quezon City

Throw back story, here I am:

It was in August last year. We landed in Paris and left Alia with my parents to meet a friend in his hometown, Rotterdam. Two months back, we met him on the beach of Boracay with a dozen of his friends. All of them were amazing artists from Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson Immortal Tour and were taking a break for a week.

Pom invited us for his next break in Rotterdam. Luckily, the dates were perfect with our already planned trip to France.

We partied the weekend away of course. One night, we went to this club filled with 20 year-old tall chicks wearing really tight mini dresses and very high heels. After a few beer, I went to the toilet with sore boobs. I locked myself in the toilets while all this young party girls were fixing their makeup and hair while sipping on their mix drinks. I could hear them giggling from inside the toilets while I was pumping and dumping my milk.

And I thought: Yup, that's how rocking moms party!

Rotterdam pier

This is only the beginning of the year and there are more places on our list already.

Next week will be El Nido in Palawan and Malasimbo in Mindoro. Then, the last leg of PKA in Puerto Princesa, Palawan.

Cheers to an adventurous 2014 year!

All I want for Christmas

The end of the year has been a very weird one.


I always love Christmas time. It is about getting together, cooking, finding the special thing to offer to your loved ones.

We started Christmas by a really nice get together with all the moms, dads and babies of our Baby Boomers group. And I hosted it. It was like a storm just passed through my house again! But how joyful was this day!

All moms came with something to grill or cooked. I baked loads of cinnamon biscuits that we hang in the Christmas tree. We had an exchange gift for all the kids to enjoy this special day.

We ended up with 13 moms, 6 dads and 16 kids in the house.

The day was so hot and sunny, we set up the little pool and the inflatable slide. The kids were running around, playing with water, the parents were enjoying the laughter and the wine.


On Christmas day, we welcomed Daddy Yo's family for the first time in our house. His parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew. And of course, our closest Island family: Bogs, Lian and the kids.

Lechon for dinner!

Mostly Alia's gifts of course..

Live music

Astro tatay got an astro bag!

My sister-in law and Lian, my partner in crime

After spending the all day cooking, I ended up a little off. I realized I missed my family for Christmas.
It's been 7 years since I spent my last Christmas with them, in my parents place.

We usually all gather there, in the countryside, cook all together and set up a buffet.

We eat foie gras and seafood and drink wine around the chimney then open the gifts under the big pine-smelling tree standing in the veranda.

You can guess the cold outside but you cannot feel it as the whole house is warm from love and burning wood.


There is that smell of Christmas that I missed this year. The wood. From the fire and from the tree.


When everyone is satisfied, some go to sleep and some stay around the fire drinking more wine and talking until we all cannot stay awake anymore. Everyone will go back to its bedroom or mattress thrown on the floor.

In the morning, we will all wake up slowly and meet in the kitchen to finish the night's left over.
Foie Gras, fresh juice and tea was my Christmas breakfast until I moved here, in the Philippines.

We will all get ready and play with the kids. Then, we will take a walk in the countryside before eating some more. After lunch, some will go home. Some will stay for an extra couple of days.

When we are together with my family, we always try to extend every minute or hours to keep that warm feeling in the air.

Then, the house is quiet again. But the smell of the wood is there.

This year, i was not there with them again. And it was the last Christmas we got with my uncle, Gilles.
He left us suddenly on the morning of the 31st, his amazing wife by his side, as always.

Next Christmas, I will be in France, with my family. I want Alia to experience the warmth of the winter in our house. I will miss my uncle's bad jokes. But I will be with them. And I will smell the wood.

For you, the woman who does not want to have children

During a nice sunset session with dear friends, we started sharing about this subject as one of us was in that case. She is the woman who doesn't plan on having kids. No yet after the sentence. It is just not in her plan. Nor the one of her longtime boyfriend.

I really wanted to write about the subject until I tumbled upon that read. 

And I had to share it instead, as I won't be able to tell it better than her.

To The Women Who Choose Not To Have Kids


DEC. 21, 2013 By ABBY ROSMARIN

To the women who choose not to have kids, I have one thing to say: thank you.

You probably don’t hear it enough. In fact, you probably don’t hear it at all. What you do hear is an array of pro-childbearing responses, such as, “You’ll change your mind someday,” or, “Doesn’t your mother want grandkids?” or, “You’ll never find a husband if you never want to have kids.”


All things considered, “thank you” is probably on the opposite end of what you hear.


But seriously: thank you. Thank you for recognizing that childrearing isn’t for you and being true to who you are. It doesn’t mean you hate kids. It just means that raising one is not part of your path in life.

Thank you for not succumbing to the societal pressures. I’ve known far too many parents who had kids because that’s what was expected of them. Working in childcare, you see more of this type than you wish to see. The resentment is almost palpable. They love their children — at least, they have no choice but to love their children — but every single movement seems to scream, “I wasn’t meant for this.” I’ve known too many people who grew up with at least one parent who harbored that resentment, who let that resentment dictate how they parented. I’ve seen how that influenced the way these former children are now as adults, or even as parents themselves.

Thank you for not trying to compromise who you are in an effort to keep a partner around. Thank you for being honest and open and refusing to apologize for who you are. Everyone has different values. Everyone wants something different in life. It takes a lot of guts and confidence to say, “This is what I want in life. It’s not the orthodox way, but it’s my way.”

Thank you for not trying to silence that feeling in your gut as a means to validate your life. There are too many people in this world who cannot figure out their path — or have stumbled while walking down said path — and decided that maybe having a child could provide that meaning and definition instead. You understand that down this path lies vicarious living and hurt emotions and you recognize that there are so many other ways to find love and meaning and joy in your life.

Raising children is a difficult, onerous, frustrating, and disappointing gig. It’s tough enough for those who want it. It is a rewarding and loving gig as well, but it’s not something one should go into while focusing only on reward and love and societal acceptance. In this day and age, with a booming population in almost every country, it makes no sense to pressure every person to have a baby. But we’re sticklers to tradition, ritualistic to a fault.

So thank you. It’s not easy to stand firm with your belief. Honestly, truly, and genuinely: thank you. 

You can read her post, following this link :


http://thoughtcatalog.com/abby-rosmarin/2013/12/to-the-women-who-choose-not-to-have-kids/

Now, enjoy this time to travel, love and life your way.

Where is the kid in you?

A week and half ago, Daddy Yo was out.

I laid down next to a sleeping Alia and enjoyed a me time. Watching a french movie it was!
The movie was called "L'âge de raison" or the Age of reason.

You know when you are 7? In France, we call this like that because this is the time you think you are always right.

Story short, this was this very successful woman who totally forgot about her childhood and past as she is so busy and focused on her carrier, meetings, investments, contracts and financial growth of her company. Until she receives all this letters from the 7 year-old she was.
As a little girl, she went to see a Notary and asked him to send all this letters to herself 25 or 30 years later. This Notary was s touched he kept his promise. Now old and retired, this is his last duty.
Of course, her life was turned upside-down by all this and it ended well.

It made me think about me, before. How was I? What did I wanted to be? How did I hope my life would be? When I was a teenager with a head full of dream?

At around 7 or 8, with my childhood friend Charles

Well, when I was a kid/teen, I was dreaming of being:

- A veterinary surgeon for wild animals (specially wolves and lions)
- A circus acrobat and trapeze artist
- Live in a Gipsy community, bare feet and long skirts, riding horses on the beach of Camargue (don't ask why, I always thought I must have Gipsy roots)
- Live in Jamaica and play drums all day long, listening to Bob Marley

Until I was 14, I wanted to be a vet. Then I had a week internship in our friend's clinic.
I discovered that being a vet includes put down animals. And it cured me from wanting to be one.

I kept my circus dream for quite a long time. My cousin introduced me to circus life when we were 6 years old. She now lives from it. When I was living in Paris and she would come to visit from Switzerland, we used to have mini-acrobatic shows in from of Pompidou museum, in the streets.
We did this until I was 19 and got an unrelated big injury on my back that left me unable to do sports for a couple of years. Now, one of my favorite things in life is still looking at Circus and dance shows.

My cousin Melissa, artist extraordinaire.

About the two next dreams, it lasted until, well... now.
It started at 14 when my childhood friend, Charles and I, dreamt of living in Jamaica, play drums and do skateboard for a living. With some friends, we wanted to create a community where we would all live together and raise our kids as a big hippy community.

My childhood friend, Charles a year ago in the Philippines
when he became the Godfather of Alia.

Looking back, I can say... I did not lost myself much since I was a kid!

Now living on a small Island in the Philippines, walking bare feet on the sand everyday, playing drums with Daddy Yo and Alia. Living how I wanted to live my life.

That is also how I want to raise Alia. Without her loosing the kid in her. So she can grow with her dreams and be who she wants to be, how she wants to be.

I will tell her that I will love her whatever the way she chooses. I will teach her at the end of the day, it is more important to be happy inside than pleasing others.

So in our house, she is allowed to make noise, eat with her hands, climb everything, choose to wear her denim short with a striped shirt and dots shoes, roll of the floor to play, spill water, write on the walls with a pencil, make a mess and help us clean. She is just a little kid and we are two big ones. Still.

It's been too long, my friends.

It's been five months since my last post.

Five long months filled with craziness and business (as in busy!).

Five months when we finally finished building our nest, moved in, went to France to visit my family, Alia grew up too fast, started a new job, survived the biggest typhoon that ever made landfall. 

There is so much to say. But I'm gonna make it short as I don't want to write a 3 volume book for the first time in so many months.

Finally being Home is the best feeling in the World. 

It was a long and hard process. And doing that on top of having a baby was crazy. Add the first year marriage and two massive and crazy puppies on top and you have the craziest year. 

But now, taking the time to fill it up with memories and decorating it is an incredibly nice feeling. 

It's like having a white canvas and infinite colors. And having an unlimited amount of time to do what you want and create your space.

We are almost done with our living room and are working on our room. 

Being able to welcome friends for dinner, organize play dates, hang out at home for days and build Alia a proper play ground is great. Even if Alia's favorite activity right now is to draw on the walls! Well, we have a left-handed artist in the house!

Alia had a blast in France and we had our first no-kids-three-days-date in Rotterdam.

 

She got to spend quality time with her grand-parents, play with her cousins, pick strawberries and raspberries in the farm, eat some freshly cooked food from Lola with the vegetables of the garden, help her Tatay and Lolo gardening, run after the hens and pick up the eggs in the morning, have her first dental check up from Lola with her cousin, swim in the lac of Annecy, meet some family in Alsace even I never met, play a lot with her ninong Lapin and tito Sushi (I think she got some artistic tips from them as they both are amazing artists), run and run and run in the garden of my parent's house.

Alia helping Daddy Yo gardening and proud

Daddy Yo, looking at his baby becoming a 

Mountaineer like him.

Daddy Yo and I had a blast as well. 

We got to make a sweet escape of three days in Rotterdam to visit an extraordinaire friend of us, dancer at Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson the Immortal Tour. The city was really cool, the people are amazing, Pom's family was so welcoming and made us feel like we knew them forever. Plus, I got to go to a club for the first time in a hundred years (there is only beach clubs in Boracay) and got to drink and party without thinking about going home to feed Alia. I got to go home at 3am and sleep until 11am. This was a really cool feeling but being apart from Alia was still a major thing. Won't happen too often...

I got to see my family, enjoy my cousins, spend my birthday in a beautiful house above the lac of Annecy with childhood friends, have barbecue with friends, share love and good news and beautiful vibes.

The highlight of my birthday celebration was when my Tita Catherine brought me with her for a tour of aerobatics. She is a aerobatics World Champion! Daddy Yo had his turn the first year we visited France together and this time was mine. What a crazy, breathtaking, brain shaking experience. I¨felt like I lost all bearings. Nothing was like it was supposed to be. After some loopings and tumblings in the air, it took a soda, a hot bath and a good night of sleep to feel normal again!

Getting ready for the big moment

Now, Alia is all grown up. 

She is talking more and more. She now has words in English, French and  Tagalog. She is mixing it all and start creating pluri lingual sentences. 

After a few month of tantrums due to language frustration, she is learning how to use her words more and more. It gets funnier and easier for us to communicate.

When my parents came to visit the Philippines last month, we had an awesome time visiting Baguio again and shopping for the house. But when we went home to Boracay, we had to anxiously prepare for the biggest and stronger Typhoon that ever made a landfall. That was scary but we survived. Boracay was so blessed and lucky. The eye of the Typhoon was supposed to be on us and wash us away with 7 meter waves. 

But it came earlier than expected, on low tide, which saved us from a water surge. And just before landing on us, the eye veered left, the rain calmed down and Yolanda Typhoon spared us and our beautiful Island. You cannot imagine the joy we all felt when we realized the damages we had were nothing compared to what we were expecting. And you cannot imagine the shock we all had when we realized many places of our beautiful country were devastated, flat, washed away. The number of dead kept on rising and the few images we got to see (whenever one of us could find a place on the Island that had electricity) were unspeakable. 

With a group of friends, we felt we could not stay without doing anything. It was only normal for us to hold hands and help our countrymen. Many groups in Boracay and around the Philippines got organized and started some actions. Here, you can find every details of how we, in our little way, are helping and how you can help: https://www.facebook.com/?q=#/LifeAfterYolanda?ref=br_tf

Daddy Yo is the best with tripod and composition!
Notice the twin outfit of Alia and I.. :)

One glass of wine + one glass of wine makes 5 bottles of wine!

Last night, we had a mommies night out.

Being a mom is tiring and turns your life upside down. Some subjects are supposed to be taboo. 

Moms are not supposed to complain about their kids.

Sex life is supposed to start again normally 6 weeks after delivery.

Doubts are not allowed.

And many more...

And suddenly, in a small wine bar in this small island in the middle of the Philippines, 7 women are sharing real life stories, without shame.

We were planning to meet at 9 and be home by 11, after a nice glass or two of red wine.
Who knew we all needed this so much??
It ended up being one of the latest, funniest and greatest night I had in a very long time.

I can't disclose anything that was said during that night as sensible souls could read this and not believe we are actually responsible and sane mothers of one or two children.

I can only say how blessed I am to be part of such a group.
And how grateful I am for the honesty that all of us brought to this table last night.

Between our raw talks about sex, fun stories about our partners, crazy stories about kids and shared doubts about future, the waitresses were amused, puzzled and had a blast also, I believe.

What I love with this amazing group of friends I have?
Sharing is easy. No judgement.
Once you open up, you realize we are all the same. We are not crazy, we are moms!
All of us went through the same things. Sometimes, we are shy to talk about it thinking we are alone. But once you hear the stories of other moms, you feel comforted and you start being able to laugh about it.

I remember when I was a teenager, my mom didn't want to join the "all girls lunch" organized by some friends as she knew it was an opportunity for them to bitch about their husbands and complain. And she didn't like that.

I love the fact that our mommies night out are not made for criticizing the Daddies. It's about sharing funny stories, fights, doubts but always with love and respect for them.

We ended up going home at 1:30 in the morning, tipsy, happy, laughing in the streets after 5 bottles of wine, a huge cheese plater and a lot of love shared.

Funny fact was that the Daddies were calling us to come home because of babies awaken and out of worry: It's unusually late for this girls. How come they are still out there in the middle of the night?
Boys, if you only knew...

Mondays moms are totally on!

Thank you mommies for being here, honest, fun, raw. Thank you for being part of this amazing group!

❝To have another language is to possess a second soul.❞

"One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way." Frank Smith

Since we decided to have Alia, we knew a great challenge was lying in front of us.

Being from different countries, therefore, speaking different languages would be a part of it.

But we decided to turn this into a benefit for her future.

Since she was born, I am only speaking to her in French.

As we are not many French speaking in the Island were I live, she needs to learn it from me since birth. I need to be consistent. I am singing french lullabies to her at nap time and I am looking for french books to read to her when she is going to bed at night.

Because she doesn’t live near my family, it is important for me that she doesn’t feel disconnected with her french roots. Speaking French will help her keep in touch with my parents, sister, relatives and her cousins when she grows up. Every time she sees them, it also help her make the connection. They speak French like her mommy!

It will also help her learn more about my culture and my country. Sharing books, poems and watching movies with her: it is like building our own little bubble where I can show her who I was, how I grew up, what music I liked to listen.

Some things cannot be translated.  

I want to open her window of opportunities: if she wants to study in France later, she is able to move there and keep up with her dreams.

Daddy Yo always speak to her in Tagalog.

I know some people want to teach their kids how to speak English first as it will help them be part of the Global World.

For me, Alia is Filipino as much as she is French. She needs to speak the langague of the country where she was born. Not learning Tagalog as one of her first language would be putting her at risk to be treated like a foreigner in her own country!

And what if she decided to pursue her studies or life here? 

Tagalog will not be taught to her later on, at school. She needs to be understood by anyone in the country where she lives. She needs to know where she comes from and understand the story of her country.

So far, the words she is saying are mainly English.

Most of our friends and all the kids around her speak English to Alia.

And she can hear Daddy Yo and I speaking English together.

She must know it is the fastest way to be understood by all.

But whenever I ask her to hold my hand in french, she gives me her hand. Whenever Daddy Yo ask her to come with him for shower, she goes straight to the bathroom.

A lot of people tell us Alia will be confused, delayed for talking.

Do not underestimate children’s brain! It’s like a sponge absorbing thousand of new things everyday.

Yes, she might mix languages up at first sometimes.

She might answer me in English when I speak French (like Alia’s godmother and her daughter when she was a little girl) but I will keep on speaking to her in French. Because all the languages she hears on a daily basis are printed in her mind.

And when she will be a little bigger and ready to use them, what an amazing advantage for her!!

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart." Nelson Mandela