It's been too long, my friends.

It's been five months since my last post.

Five long months filled with craziness and business (as in busy!).

Five months when we finally finished building our nest, moved in, went to France to visit my family, Alia grew up too fast, started a new job, survived the biggest typhoon that ever made landfall. 

There is so much to say. But I'm gonna make it short as I don't want to write a 3 volume book for the first time in so many months.

Finally being Home is the best feeling in the World. 

It was a long and hard process. And doing that on top of having a baby was crazy. Add the first year marriage and two massive and crazy puppies on top and you have the craziest year. 

But now, taking the time to fill it up with memories and decorating it is an incredibly nice feeling. 

It's like having a white canvas and infinite colors. And having an unlimited amount of time to do what you want and create your space.

We are almost done with our living room and are working on our room. 

Being able to welcome friends for dinner, organize play dates, hang out at home for days and build Alia a proper play ground is great. Even if Alia's favorite activity right now is to draw on the walls! Well, we have a left-handed artist in the house!

Alia had a blast in France and we had our first no-kids-three-days-date in Rotterdam.

 

She got to spend quality time with her grand-parents, play with her cousins, pick strawberries and raspberries in the farm, eat some freshly cooked food from Lola with the vegetables of the garden, help her Tatay and Lolo gardening, run after the hens and pick up the eggs in the morning, have her first dental check up from Lola with her cousin, swim in the lac of Annecy, meet some family in Alsace even I never met, play a lot with her ninong Lapin and tito Sushi (I think she got some artistic tips from them as they both are amazing artists), run and run and run in the garden of my parent's house.

Alia helping Daddy Yo gardening and proud

Daddy Yo, looking at his baby becoming a 

Mountaineer like him.

Daddy Yo and I had a blast as well. 

We got to make a sweet escape of three days in Rotterdam to visit an extraordinaire friend of us, dancer at Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson the Immortal Tour. The city was really cool, the people are amazing, Pom's family was so welcoming and made us feel like we knew them forever. Plus, I got to go to a club for the first time in a hundred years (there is only beach clubs in Boracay) and got to drink and party without thinking about going home to feed Alia. I got to go home at 3am and sleep until 11am. This was a really cool feeling but being apart from Alia was still a major thing. Won't happen too often...

I got to see my family, enjoy my cousins, spend my birthday in a beautiful house above the lac of Annecy with childhood friends, have barbecue with friends, share love and good news and beautiful vibes.

The highlight of my birthday celebration was when my Tita Catherine brought me with her for a tour of aerobatics. She is a aerobatics World Champion! Daddy Yo had his turn the first year we visited France together and this time was mine. What a crazy, breathtaking, brain shaking experience. I¨felt like I lost all bearings. Nothing was like it was supposed to be. After some loopings and tumblings in the air, it took a soda, a hot bath and a good night of sleep to feel normal again!

Getting ready for the big moment

Now, Alia is all grown up. 

She is talking more and more. She now has words in English, French and  Tagalog. She is mixing it all and start creating pluri lingual sentences. 

After a few month of tantrums due to language frustration, she is learning how to use her words more and more. It gets funnier and easier for us to communicate.

When my parents came to visit the Philippines last month, we had an awesome time visiting Baguio again and shopping for the house. But when we went home to Boracay, we had to anxiously prepare for the biggest and stronger Typhoon that ever made a landfall. That was scary but we survived. Boracay was so blessed and lucky. The eye of the Typhoon was supposed to be on us and wash us away with 7 meter waves. 

But it came earlier than expected, on low tide, which saved us from a water surge. And just before landing on us, the eye veered left, the rain calmed down and Yolanda Typhoon spared us and our beautiful Island. You cannot imagine the joy we all felt when we realized the damages we had were nothing compared to what we were expecting. And you cannot imagine the shock we all had when we realized many places of our beautiful country were devastated, flat, washed away. The number of dead kept on rising and the few images we got to see (whenever one of us could find a place on the Island that had electricity) were unspeakable. 

With a group of friends, we felt we could not stay without doing anything. It was only normal for us to hold hands and help our countrymen. Many groups in Boracay and around the Philippines got organized and started some actions. Here, you can find every details of how we, in our little way, are helping and how you can help: https://www.facebook.com/?q=#/LifeAfterYolanda?ref=br_tf

Daddy Yo is the best with tripod and composition!
Notice the twin outfit of Alia and I.. :)

One glass of wine + one glass of wine makes 5 bottles of wine!

Last night, we had a mommies night out.

Being a mom is tiring and turns your life upside down. Some subjects are supposed to be taboo. 

Moms are not supposed to complain about their kids.

Sex life is supposed to start again normally 6 weeks after delivery.

Doubts are not allowed.

And many more...

And suddenly, in a small wine bar in this small island in the middle of the Philippines, 7 women are sharing real life stories, without shame.

We were planning to meet at 9 and be home by 11, after a nice glass or two of red wine.
Who knew we all needed this so much??
It ended up being one of the latest, funniest and greatest night I had in a very long time.

I can't disclose anything that was said during that night as sensible souls could read this and not believe we are actually responsible and sane mothers of one or two children.

I can only say how blessed I am to be part of such a group.
And how grateful I am for the honesty that all of us brought to this table last night.

Between our raw talks about sex, fun stories about our partners, crazy stories about kids and shared doubts about future, the waitresses were amused, puzzled and had a blast also, I believe.

What I love with this amazing group of friends I have?
Sharing is easy. No judgement.
Once you open up, you realize we are all the same. We are not crazy, we are moms!
All of us went through the same things. Sometimes, we are shy to talk about it thinking we are alone. But once you hear the stories of other moms, you feel comforted and you start being able to laugh about it.

I remember when I was a teenager, my mom didn't want to join the "all girls lunch" organized by some friends as she knew it was an opportunity for them to bitch about their husbands and complain. And she didn't like that.

I love the fact that our mommies night out are not made for criticizing the Daddies. It's about sharing funny stories, fights, doubts but always with love and respect for them.

We ended up going home at 1:30 in the morning, tipsy, happy, laughing in the streets after 5 bottles of wine, a huge cheese plater and a lot of love shared.

Funny fact was that the Daddies were calling us to come home because of babies awaken and out of worry: It's unusually late for this girls. How come they are still out there in the middle of the night?
Boys, if you only knew...

Mondays moms are totally on!

Thank you mommies for being here, honest, fun, raw. Thank you for being part of this amazing group!

❝To have another language is to possess a second soul.❞

"One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way." Frank Smith

Since we decided to have Alia, we knew a great challenge was lying in front of us.

Being from different countries, therefore, speaking different languages would be a part of it.

But we decided to turn this into a benefit for her future.

Since she was born, I am only speaking to her in French.

As we are not many French speaking in the Island were I live, she needs to learn it from me since birth. I need to be consistent. I am singing french lullabies to her at nap time and I am looking for french books to read to her when she is going to bed at night.

Because she doesn’t live near my family, it is important for me that she doesn’t feel disconnected with her french roots. Speaking French will help her keep in touch with my parents, sister, relatives and her cousins when she grows up. Every time she sees them, it also help her make the connection. They speak French like her mommy!

It will also help her learn more about my culture and my country. Sharing books, poems and watching movies with her: it is like building our own little bubble where I can show her who I was, how I grew up, what music I liked to listen.

Some things cannot be translated.  

I want to open her window of opportunities: if she wants to study in France later, she is able to move there and keep up with her dreams.

Daddy Yo always speak to her in Tagalog.

I know some people want to teach their kids how to speak English first as it will help them be part of the Global World.

For me, Alia is Filipino as much as she is French. She needs to speak the langague of the country where she was born. Not learning Tagalog as one of her first language would be putting her at risk to be treated like a foreigner in her own country!

And what if she decided to pursue her studies or life here? 

Tagalog will not be taught to her later on, at school. She needs to be understood by anyone in the country where she lives. She needs to know where she comes from and understand the story of her country.

So far, the words she is saying are mainly English.

Most of our friends and all the kids around her speak English to Alia.

And she can hear Daddy Yo and I speaking English together.

She must know it is the fastest way to be understood by all.

But whenever I ask her to hold my hand in french, she gives me her hand. Whenever Daddy Yo ask her to come with him for shower, she goes straight to the bathroom.

A lot of people tell us Alia will be confused, delayed for talking.

Do not underestimate children’s brain! It’s like a sponge absorbing thousand of new things everyday.

Yes, she might mix languages up at first sometimes.

She might answer me in English when I speak French (like Alia’s godmother and her daughter when she was a little girl) but I will keep on speaking to her in French. Because all the languages she hears on a daily basis are printed in her mind.

And when she will be a little bigger and ready to use them, what an amazing advantage for her!!

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart." Nelson Mandela

We talked so much about you!

Before Alia came into our lives, we were "party people", travelling, doing sports, living on the beach. When we talked about having a baby, we wanted to be sure we were in synch with what it involved and how we wanted to bring her to the World.

I saw couples who never talked about this things falling apart and fighting about main aspect of education.

I am French. Jewish mom, Catholic dad. My parents raised us in the Jewish culture (and a little bit of religion but not much). I was going to the Synagogue for the main celebrations once a year (twice exceptionnally) when we were not late or skipping it. I stepped in a Church a couple of time for a masse or funerals and weddings but most of the time, I’ve been visiting them as beautiful landmarks.

I travelled in many places around the world since I was 2 years old and I left my parents house to live and study in Paris at 18. I was raised in the countryside and went to school in a public school in a small city and spent my week ends listening to Reggae concerts. I’ve studied Art and Communication, spent an unmesurable nombre of hours in the museum and spent all my week-end partying in my place with friends or drinking Chablis in a small bistrot where Brass band and Jazz band were playing.

Daddy Yo is Filipino. Raised Catholic, altar boy in his young years, born and raised in the Big City of Manila. His grand-dad was in the military and he spent most of his holidays in his farm, learning from him. He spent years playing frisbee and climbing mountains, was a regular in all reggae concerts around his University while drinking beer, lived in his parents place until 28 years-old with four generation in the same house and studied tourism. 

English is both our second language. Boracay became our Home the same year. We had to find a balance to mix all our differences and make our own little blend.

We talked about our  Education. What were the values that were important for both of us? Respect, Family, Tolerance, Communication, Conviviality, Education, Openmindness were part of this Values that are important for us.

We talked about our background. To understand where we were coming from. What our families went through.

We talked about religion. What was important for us. What we were believing in. We learned from each other.

I was living in his country. He came with me to mine. To understand where I grew up, who made me who I am. Went to all the places I used to go as a kid, met my family, friends and neighbors.

Paris, 2010

We learned each other’s cultures, what was taboo in his was not in mine. What was ok in Philippines was not where I grew up (and vice versa). We learned the rules and the customs.

I went to church with him at 5 am for Christmas. It was magic. He watched so many french movies he ended up loving so much. He read « Le petit Prince » (The Little Prince) and made me read « Noli Me Tangere » (The book of their national Hero, Jose Rizal). He's listening to Gainsbourg and I love Freddie Aguilar and Brown Man Revival.

We talked about where I will give birth. What was easier for us? Best for him? Fair for our couple? We decided Manila was the best: It was safe as their hospital are very good. Easy for him to still work in Boracay while I am there waiting for our baby. We could go there at the last moment (and not months ahead as if we'd decide to go back to France). Plus he would need a long visa to stay several months in France. My parents could come more easily in the Philippines than his parents in France.

We talked about religion. How will we bring our kids up? We decided to give her a bit of both. We’ll teach her there are different minds. She will be baptised as it is important for him. I will let him bring her to the church and teach her what he believes in. I will talk to her about my believes also. She might have her own believes one day. We want her openminded.

We talked about our options for school and studies.

About marriage. I did not want a church wedding. He agreed on a civil one.

We talked about what language was important for her to learn. I speak to her in French, Daddy Yo in Tagalog and English is the language she hears all around us. Our helper Ate Jen even speaks to her in Visayan. We want her international.

He respected the fact that I was thinking of bottle feed her. He supported me all the way when I decided to breastfeed.
He respected my choice of not co-sleeping and even bought the crib. But he followed me when I decided to give it a try.

Now Alia is with us, I believe our open talks made a difference. It made it easier for us as we know what to expect in the big lines.

Of course, we will still spend hours talking about the little things when they will come up.

But we know we will stick together when it comes to the main decisions. 

Because we are in together, for the long run. And we are in as a family. Not against each other.

As Anthony Robbins was telling it too well, "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."