And my heart expands in a magical way

“Before I had my child, I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible.” — Uma Thurman


So, I'm 7 months and half in my second pregnancy now.
And that has been a crazy roller-coaster. I guess that's why I have been so private about it.

First of all, it was not planned. At least, not this year. So, at first, I literally freaked out thinking it was too early, not prepared. I was looking at Alia, thinking she was still so small.

Alia introducing her sister Gaia Mayari!

But thanks to my awesome husband who reassured me we will always find a way, i started seeing all the good sides of it: sure, most of my friends already have the second one, so it's nice if our second one is not too far apart. They will grow up together, like our first ones did.

Plus I always said I will have my two kids before 30 and I got pregnant the second time around on my 29th year. So, the universe remembered what I wanted.

And, yes, Alia and our second one won't be too far apart as well. So it's nice for them.

Plus, let's face it, i'll be done with pregnancy and diapers faster this way!

Yes, I always wanted two kids, maybe 2 years apart. But once I had Alia, I had this fear: how can you possibly love more than one human being so much, unconditionally, deeply? How can your heart get split in two?

Now, I understand. Your heart doesn't split. Your love for one doesn't shrink.
Your heart gets bigger. It expand. It grows.

After eight weeks of morning sickness, being on my knees in front of the toilets every single day, laying on my couch feeling nauseous every second of the day, not being able to smell or eat or move much, I went to France.

I got blessed that morning sickness stopped for a few days, allowing me to take my three planes without having to run to the toilets onboard. I was alone with Alia, on a night flight. That was my biggest worry. But everything went fine. We arrived in France: I had lost a few kilos and had a big deficit of iron. It made me look like a gothic teenager more than a blooming mother-to-be.

When finally, my appetite slowly came back, we found out I had Toxoplasmosis. This silly bacteria you get from cats, unwashed vegetable and fruits or uncooked meat. Silly because, if you are not pregnant, this bacteria is nothing. You get it, you probably won't even notice, you are immune, end of the story. But if you are pregnant, real damages can be passed onto your baby's brain and eyes.

In the Philippines, it's not a common thing. So, they don't test you for it. In Europe, it is. The test is mandatory in France when you are expecting.

Normally, if you get it while you are pregnant, they will give you antibiotics until the end of your pregnancy to protect your baby. In my case, we had no idea when I contracted it. Therefore, we didn't know the risks the baby could be contaminated already.

As a prevention, I started to take some antibiotics. And we ran some tests to date the bacteria. And I had to change our tickets and stay one more month in France.

There was three scenarios laying in front of me.
Either I had it before getting pregnant, and our baby was safe.
Or I had it just when I arrived in France, and I would continue my antibiotics treatments.
The third one kept me awaken a few nights. If I had it during my three first months and the baby's brain was contaminated, I could do a amnio-synthesis to check the baby. Then I could have an IRM made a few months later and see the damages on the baby's brain. In France, you can choose to have a medical abortion at any time, in the worst cases. Do I need to say more?

We spent a month waiting for all the results. A month away from Daddy-Yo, freaking out alone in Sri Lanka. A month not saying to Alia she may (or may not) have a little sister in a few months. A month of not knowing if my baby was ok.

Until the news came: I got the toxoplasmosis right before I got pregnant. Our daughter was safe.

We found a name for her, of course. Gaia Mayari. Gaia: Earth, City of Light. Mayari: Goddess of the Moon in the Tagalog Mythology. A strong name for a strong girl.

Now, Daddy-Yo is still working in Sri-Lanka, missing his girls as much as we miss him. We got to see him for ten days for my 30th birthday. That was heaven!

Small celebration with Island family

Being by myself, pregnant and caring for a 2 and a half year-old is a roller-coaster.

It taught me I am strong. It taught me I am weak. It taught me I always need to improve my patience. It taught me that my daughter, Alia, is an amazing human being. Even more than I thought she was (and I thought she was pretty damn amazing already, believe me!)

She was the one stroking my hair and cheek while I was vomiting in the toilets. She was the one bringing water to me. She is the one asking if my tummy is "ouchy" and if "baby inside" is ok. She is the one hugging me out of nowhere while we are eating dinner. And kissing me in the morning to wake me up. And sleeping on my shoulder at night.

Very soon, Daddy Yo will be home and we will be a family again. Actually we never stopped being one. Being away from him so long taught me that when you find the one, even though you fight and argue sometimes, distance only makes you stronger.

For you, the woman who does not want to have children

During a nice sunset session with dear friends, we started sharing about this subject as one of us was in that case. She is the woman who doesn't plan on having kids. No yet after the sentence. It is just not in her plan. Nor the one of her longtime boyfriend.

I really wanted to write about the subject until I tumbled upon that read. 

And I had to share it instead, as I won't be able to tell it better than her.

To The Women Who Choose Not To Have Kids


DEC. 21, 2013 By ABBY ROSMARIN

To the women who choose not to have kids, I have one thing to say: thank you.

You probably don’t hear it enough. In fact, you probably don’t hear it at all. What you do hear is an array of pro-childbearing responses, such as, “You’ll change your mind someday,” or, “Doesn’t your mother want grandkids?” or, “You’ll never find a husband if you never want to have kids.”


All things considered, “thank you” is probably on the opposite end of what you hear.


But seriously: thank you. Thank you for recognizing that childrearing isn’t for you and being true to who you are. It doesn’t mean you hate kids. It just means that raising one is not part of your path in life.

Thank you for not succumbing to the societal pressures. I’ve known far too many parents who had kids because that’s what was expected of them. Working in childcare, you see more of this type than you wish to see. The resentment is almost palpable. They love their children — at least, they have no choice but to love their children — but every single movement seems to scream, “I wasn’t meant for this.” I’ve known too many people who grew up with at least one parent who harbored that resentment, who let that resentment dictate how they parented. I’ve seen how that influenced the way these former children are now as adults, or even as parents themselves.

Thank you for not trying to compromise who you are in an effort to keep a partner around. Thank you for being honest and open and refusing to apologize for who you are. Everyone has different values. Everyone wants something different in life. It takes a lot of guts and confidence to say, “This is what I want in life. It’s not the orthodox way, but it’s my way.”

Thank you for not trying to silence that feeling in your gut as a means to validate your life. There are too many people in this world who cannot figure out their path — or have stumbled while walking down said path — and decided that maybe having a child could provide that meaning and definition instead. You understand that down this path lies vicarious living and hurt emotions and you recognize that there are so many other ways to find love and meaning and joy in your life.

Raising children is a difficult, onerous, frustrating, and disappointing gig. It’s tough enough for those who want it. It is a rewarding and loving gig as well, but it’s not something one should go into while focusing only on reward and love and societal acceptance. In this day and age, with a booming population in almost every country, it makes no sense to pressure every person to have a baby. But we’re sticklers to tradition, ritualistic to a fault.

So thank you. It’s not easy to stand firm with your belief. Honestly, truly, and genuinely: thank you. 

You can read her post, following this link :


http://thoughtcatalog.com/abby-rosmarin/2013/12/to-the-women-who-choose-not-to-have-kids/

Now, enjoy this time to travel, love and life your way.

It's been too long, my friends.

It's been five months since my last post.

Five long months filled with craziness and business (as in busy!).

Five months when we finally finished building our nest, moved in, went to France to visit my family, Alia grew up too fast, started a new job, survived the biggest typhoon that ever made landfall. 

There is so much to say. But I'm gonna make it short as I don't want to write a 3 volume book for the first time in so many months.

Finally being Home is the best feeling in the World. 

It was a long and hard process. And doing that on top of having a baby was crazy. Add the first year marriage and two massive and crazy puppies on top and you have the craziest year. 

But now, taking the time to fill it up with memories and decorating it is an incredibly nice feeling. 

It's like having a white canvas and infinite colors. And having an unlimited amount of time to do what you want and create your space.

We are almost done with our living room and are working on our room. 

Being able to welcome friends for dinner, organize play dates, hang out at home for days and build Alia a proper play ground is great. Even if Alia's favorite activity right now is to draw on the walls! Well, we have a left-handed artist in the house!

Alia had a blast in France and we had our first no-kids-three-days-date in Rotterdam.

 

She got to spend quality time with her grand-parents, play with her cousins, pick strawberries and raspberries in the farm, eat some freshly cooked food from Lola with the vegetables of the garden, help her Tatay and Lolo gardening, run after the hens and pick up the eggs in the morning, have her first dental check up from Lola with her cousin, swim in the lac of Annecy, meet some family in Alsace even I never met, play a lot with her ninong Lapin and tito Sushi (I think she got some artistic tips from them as they both are amazing artists), run and run and run in the garden of my parent's house.

Alia helping Daddy Yo gardening and proud

Daddy Yo, looking at his baby becoming a 

Mountaineer like him.

Daddy Yo and I had a blast as well. 

We got to make a sweet escape of three days in Rotterdam to visit an extraordinaire friend of us, dancer at Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson the Immortal Tour. The city was really cool, the people are amazing, Pom's family was so welcoming and made us feel like we knew them forever. Plus, I got to go to a club for the first time in a hundred years (there is only beach clubs in Boracay) and got to drink and party without thinking about going home to feed Alia. I got to go home at 3am and sleep until 11am. This was a really cool feeling but being apart from Alia was still a major thing. Won't happen too often...

I got to see my family, enjoy my cousins, spend my birthday in a beautiful house above the lac of Annecy with childhood friends, have barbecue with friends, share love and good news and beautiful vibes.

The highlight of my birthday celebration was when my Tita Catherine brought me with her for a tour of aerobatics. She is a aerobatics World Champion! Daddy Yo had his turn the first year we visited France together and this time was mine. What a crazy, breathtaking, brain shaking experience. I¨felt like I lost all bearings. Nothing was like it was supposed to be. After some loopings and tumblings in the air, it took a soda, a hot bath and a good night of sleep to feel normal again!

Getting ready for the big moment

Now, Alia is all grown up. 

She is talking more and more. She now has words in English, French and  Tagalog. She is mixing it all and start creating pluri lingual sentences. 

After a few month of tantrums due to language frustration, she is learning how to use her words more and more. It gets funnier and easier for us to communicate.

When my parents came to visit the Philippines last month, we had an awesome time visiting Baguio again and shopping for the house. But when we went home to Boracay, we had to anxiously prepare for the biggest and stronger Typhoon that ever made a landfall. That was scary but we survived. Boracay was so blessed and lucky. The eye of the Typhoon was supposed to be on us and wash us away with 7 meter waves. 

But it came earlier than expected, on low tide, which saved us from a water surge. And just before landing on us, the eye veered left, the rain calmed down and Yolanda Typhoon spared us and our beautiful Island. You cannot imagine the joy we all felt when we realized the damages we had were nothing compared to what we were expecting. And you cannot imagine the shock we all had when we realized many places of our beautiful country were devastated, flat, washed away. The number of dead kept on rising and the few images we got to see (whenever one of us could find a place on the Island that had electricity) were unspeakable. 

With a group of friends, we felt we could not stay without doing anything. It was only normal for us to hold hands and help our countrymen. Many groups in Boracay and around the Philippines got organized and started some actions. Here, you can find every details of how we, in our little way, are helping and how you can help: https://www.facebook.com/?q=#/LifeAfterYolanda?ref=br_tf

Daddy Yo is the best with tripod and composition!
Notice the twin outfit of Alia and I.. :)

Brownout means family time on the beach!

Once more, we don’t have a nanny anymore.

But since there is less wind so less work for Daddy Yo, it has been manageable. 

I started again training with my Dragon Boat team and we are getting ready for the competition at the end of the month. Daddy Yo is bonding with Alia every morning from her wake up time until I go home from the training around 9 :30. Sometimes, they surprise me on the beach and we go for a swim or a breakfast before going back home.

This summer is so hot, it’s quite hard being outside too long during the day.

Even in front of the fan, there are days when we are sweating just by blinking.

Yesterday was one of these days.

While Daddy Yo was resting, Alia and I hit the beach early morning and met some friends of us for a coffee. Kids were running on the beach and mommies were sipping on coconut juices. Perfect !

We went back home on time for lunch and before the heat hours.

Afternoon was spent playing and taking several quick showers trying to refresh a bit.

Around 4 :30pm : brownout. Yes, brownout, on top of this heat !

Daddy Yo had a jamming for a summer event on the beach and by 7pm, I would be alone at home with Alia. I like being alone from time to time in the evenings. I watch a french movie, surf the web and sleep early.

But with the heat and no power at home, that was another story. Alia was cranky because she was sweating and I could not imagine myself running after  and following her with a flashlight  around the house or using a fan to ventilate her until the power will be back.

I remember the time before Alia. Anytime there was a brownout, Daddy Yo and I would run to the beach and party or swim until the power was back. So what stopped us to do the same with Alia now?

We decided that, if by 7pm, the power was not back, we would accompagny Daddy Yo at his event, eat dinner on the beach with him and friends then go home when the power would be back again.

As we left the house, the breeze hit us.

Once in the tricycle, we picked up some of the bandmates of Daddy Yo and the drums then took the back road of the island. As we passed by the small street, we could see everybody hanging out with the neighbors, carrying the kids and babies, talking, seating, walking outside.

And that reminded me this is one of the reason why I fell in love with Boracay and the Philippines.

People will not stay home, complaining about the heat and the lack of power. They will just open their door and find another reason to hang out with their friends and family.

Just because of a brownout, my evening turned out  to be perfect. Alia got to dance to her daddy playing drums, I got to eat yummy morrocan food and spend time with friends and by 9pm, we were home with everything back to normal.

Alia did not sleep early like usual but she was happy and more relaxed in the breeze on the beach than under the heat at home.

And her eyes when she saw her dad jamming! It was priceless!!

Beauty and happiness is everywhere with positive thoughts!

Letter to Alia

My dearest daughter,

Today, you are one year old.

While you are sound asleep, I want to write you a few words so you can read it later.

A year ago, your tatay and I were welcoming you in our arms, in our life and in our hearts. Since then, there is not one day that passed without you making me smile. Even through pain, tears, doubts and arguments.

You truly are a gift to me!

Being a mom is such a powerful experience. It’s overwhelming, beautiful, painful, fun, scary, magic, intense…

Being your mom is priceless! I will never be able to thank the universe enough for choosing me to birth you and hold your hand to enter in this World.

This year has been the most intense of my life.

Being a parent is not just about you, my love.

It’s about redefining myself and my life. What are my priorities, my new goals, my daily life.

It’s about remembering how it felt to be a child so I can always understand you.

And looking at the way your dad and I were raised. Bring the values our parents tought us and add a twist of what we believe in.

It’s being scared of making a mistake but still doing it because we believe it’s for your best.

It’s about accepting who you are and watching you grow the way you want to.

And it’s about finding our place in this new dynamic as a couple for your dad and I.

Meeting in between, making compromise. Make time for each other.

It has been hard. Some days, I felt like giving up.

But at the end, your dad and I love each other more than all this obstacles.

And you are our glue!

Laughter made us going through this year.

Hearing your laught when discovering everything.

And us, being able to laugh at each other and together.

Laugh is the best remedy, my love. The only medicine in life.

And I am grateful for this year that has been filled with laughter and love.

When I hear you calling me « maman », my heart is swealing, ready to explose with joy and love. When you hug me and kiss me, feed from me and play with my mouth with your little hand, laugh out loud and dance, jump on us to say good morning, I sometimes feel like crying.

That’s how powerful it is. That’s how huge my love is for you. That’s how overwhelming and beautiful it is to know you are made out of a little of your dad and a little of me.

If sometimes, I loose my patience, I apologize. I can be weak when I am tired. And everyday, I am reminding myself this is not the way I want to be with you.

Sometimes, I am a bit harder with you. But it’s to protect you from something that can be dangerous for you. It’s out of fear to see you harm and not against you.

I want to give you a happy life. Filled with love and fun.

            I want you to experience things by yourself. Get hurt and know I will always be here

            to listen to and advise you. Because, this is the way you will learn and grow.

I want you to travel a lot and be exposed to different cultures and places because that will be your most valuable lesson in life.

I want you to be confident. You are loved! You are a beautiful soul. You are a happy spirit.

Never try to impress people. Always be who you are.

Always believe in yourself. And if you don’t, I will be here to believe twice as much.

This is how much I love you.

Because you are the light in my life. And the reason why I smile everyday.

Happy birthday, my love.

Alia, cuddling her new Rocking Horse

A message from your Tatay:

Alia, you keep me alive.

The way you show me your love melt my heart.

You truly are the life and love between your mom and me.

Keep it up! Ahoooo!

Love, Tatay.

I just want to pee alone!

Back when I was pregnant and Daddy Yo suggested me we look for a helper, I gasped!

I haven’t been raised with helpers. I will not have one!

Then Alia was born. And the house was a mess!

I had no time to eat my breakfast because Alia was awake or I was passing out next to her the second she would fall asleep. 

I would try to do the laundry (by hand) whenever I was not feeding her, changing her or sleeping with her or I would let Daddy Yo do it after he came back home from work, cooked dinner and washed the dishes of the whole day.

I was crying when she was crying in the middle of the night.

I would call our neighbor, Tita Caiys or our Land lady Ate Sally and ask them to help me when Alia was screaming because of gas and I still didn’t have time to eat lunch or take a shower.

When we had our first helper, I realized how lucky we are in the Philippines to be able to afford hiring someone to help us. 

Back in Europe, having a helper at home the whole day would be a luxury. It would cost one full salary of ours!

Of course suddenly, our house was spottless. I was able to rest more without worrying about food or laundry. The mornings I was really tired, I could hand Alia over and go back to sleep for an hour or two. I could even start socializing a little bit by going out for a dinner or a drink once in a while.

And all this time I would not cook, clean or wash, I can fully spend it with my daughter. Take time to play with her, bring her to the beach, organize play dates with the other mommies. Being relax around her knowing someone is here to do the house chores.

When Alia was 3 months old, I started training for our Dragon Boat competition with Daddy Yo. Sharing an "us" time without Alia. I even enjoyed a few "me" time over manicures with my other mommy friends and no kids !

I had the peace of mind to go back to work knowing Alia was at home, safe in her familiar environment.

I know I can make it without a helper.

I also know I am a better mom when I have some help.

I am less stressed, less tired, less frustrated.

Having someone helping you at home is not shameful. 

It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother or a bad wife. 

It doesn’t mean you can’t do it by yourself or are lazy. 

It doesn’t mean you will just sit around on the couch and eat chips while watching a movie.

It means you value your time.

It means you did not forget that you are also a woman. Not just a wife or a mother.

It means you recognize you also have some needs : sleeping a bit longer sometimes, having a massage and a manicure once in a while, doing sport, going to work, enjoying a date with your husband or a drink with your girlfriends…

We are not machines! Keeping a household is a lot of work and being a mother is a full time job!

Help can come from a nanny, the grand-parents, a friend once in a while.

This issue I used to have about having a helper was about pride. The pride that I could do it by myself.

Now, I learned.

And i am proud to know now how to simply ask for help.

Where there is love there is life

Alia is the happy type of kid.

And I cannot be more grateful for her to be this way !

There is not a day that passes without me to smile a thousand time thanks to her.

An afternoon at home just the two of us!

She loves playing peak-a-boo.

She loves dancing and moving her hands in a close/open motion.

She laugh out loud when we kiss her tummy.

She closes her eyes and smiles when she feels the wind on her face in the trike.

She loves climbing the couch to get the TV remote whe we try to hide it on top of it.

She absolutely loves to put her little hand in our puppy's mouth and giggles when Pampu lick her hand.

She loves crawling around the house without a diaper and throw all my beauty products on the floor. 

She loves to swim in the ocean.

And I love her so!

She smiles to people in the street, in the trikes and make them smile.

About a month ago, I was walking on the beach with Alia on her sling on my hips. I felt someone was following me. I looked back and saw two kids about 7 and 9, jumping behind me and doing faces to make Alia laugh. And she was laughing so much. They kept following me and entertain her for about 10 to 15 minutes until I had to enter in this shop I was going in.

Alia with her favorite tito, Ken and Chocnut the dog

In Boracay, she starts to be known among the tricyle drivers for the baby that smiles to them, laugh out loud if they smile back to her and pinches them if they do not pay attention.

And they always end up smiling, laughing and making faces along with her.

Alia is totally obsessed with trikes. Every time we hop in one, she’ll be excited and trying to reach the handles and the breaks.

Quite a few drivers will turn their mirror facing her so she can look at herself in it and laugh.

Some of them spend the trip making faces to amuse her.

All of them will laugh along with her.

And I always am one proud mommy seeing her spreading happiness around her at such a young age.

Isn’t it promising for the future ?

Happy Buddha: her Halloween costume

Yesterday when we went home from a play date with her buddies and my mommies friends, she was so happy to see her Daddy Yo. While breastfeeding, she stopped, turned her back to me and hugged her Daddy Yo! A long hug, her two arms around his neck.

He melted!

Playing and cuddling

He then left the room to let Alia sleep. As he closed the door of the room, I saw her crawling to the door, sit next to it and say "Baba?". He came back in until she was settled with me in bed.

Once alone with her, I felt a tear rolling on my cheek. She was breastfeeding and I was just happy to have her in my life.

Love is very powerful.

Playing with the computer while Skyping with her Lola back in France

We talked so much about you!

Before Alia came into our lives, we were "party people", travelling, doing sports, living on the beach. When we talked about having a baby, we wanted to be sure we were in synch with what it involved and how we wanted to bring her to the World.

I saw couples who never talked about this things falling apart and fighting about main aspect of education.

I am French. Jewish mom, Catholic dad. My parents raised us in the Jewish culture (and a little bit of religion but not much). I was going to the Synagogue for the main celebrations once a year (twice exceptionnally) when we were not late or skipping it. I stepped in a Church a couple of time for a masse or funerals and weddings but most of the time, I’ve been visiting them as beautiful landmarks.

I travelled in many places around the world since I was 2 years old and I left my parents house to live and study in Paris at 18. I was raised in the countryside and went to school in a public school in a small city and spent my week ends listening to Reggae concerts. I’ve studied Art and Communication, spent an unmesurable nombre of hours in the museum and spent all my week-end partying in my place with friends or drinking Chablis in a small bistrot where Brass band and Jazz band were playing.

Daddy Yo is Filipino. Raised Catholic, altar boy in his young years, born and raised in the Big City of Manila. His grand-dad was in the military and he spent most of his holidays in his farm, learning from him. He spent years playing frisbee and climbing mountains, was a regular in all reggae concerts around his University while drinking beer, lived in his parents place until 28 years-old with four generation in the same house and studied tourism. 

English is both our second language. Boracay became our Home the same year. We had to find a balance to mix all our differences and make our own little blend.

We talked about our  Education. What were the values that were important for both of us? Respect, Family, Tolerance, Communication, Conviviality, Education, Openmindness were part of this Values that are important for us.

We talked about our background. To understand where we were coming from. What our families went through.

We talked about religion. What was important for us. What we were believing in. We learned from each other.

I was living in his country. He came with me to mine. To understand where I grew up, who made me who I am. Went to all the places I used to go as a kid, met my family, friends and neighbors.

Paris, 2010

We learned each other’s cultures, what was taboo in his was not in mine. What was ok in Philippines was not where I grew up (and vice versa). We learned the rules and the customs.

I went to church with him at 5 am for Christmas. It was magic. He watched so many french movies he ended up loving so much. He read « Le petit Prince » (The Little Prince) and made me read « Noli Me Tangere » (The book of their national Hero, Jose Rizal). He's listening to Gainsbourg and I love Freddie Aguilar and Brown Man Revival.

We talked about where I will give birth. What was easier for us? Best for him? Fair for our couple? We decided Manila was the best: It was safe as their hospital are very good. Easy for him to still work in Boracay while I am there waiting for our baby. We could go there at the last moment (and not months ahead as if we'd decide to go back to France). Plus he would need a long visa to stay several months in France. My parents could come more easily in the Philippines than his parents in France.

We talked about religion. How will we bring our kids up? We decided to give her a bit of both. We’ll teach her there are different minds. She will be baptised as it is important for him. I will let him bring her to the church and teach her what he believes in. I will talk to her about my believes also. She might have her own believes one day. We want her openminded.

We talked about our options for school and studies.

About marriage. I did not want a church wedding. He agreed on a civil one.

We talked about what language was important for her to learn. I speak to her in French, Daddy Yo in Tagalog and English is the language she hears all around us. Our helper Ate Jen even speaks to her in Visayan. We want her international.

He respected the fact that I was thinking of bottle feed her. He supported me all the way when I decided to breastfeed.
He respected my choice of not co-sleeping and even bought the crib. But he followed me when I decided to give it a try.

Now Alia is with us, I believe our open talks made a difference. It made it easier for us as we know what to expect in the big lines.

Of course, we will still spend hours talking about the little things when they will come up.

But we know we will stick together when it comes to the main decisions. 

Because we are in together, for the long run. And we are in as a family. Not against each other.

As Anthony Robbins was telling it too well, "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."