And my heart expands in a magical way

“Before I had my child, I thought I knew all the boundaries of myself, that I understood the limits of my heart. It’s extraordinary to have all those limits thrown out, to realize your love is inexhaustible.” — Uma Thurman


So, I'm 7 months and half in my second pregnancy now.
And that has been a crazy roller-coaster. I guess that's why I have been so private about it.

First of all, it was not planned. At least, not this year. So, at first, I literally freaked out thinking it was too early, not prepared. I was looking at Alia, thinking she was still so small.

Alia introducing her sister Gaia Mayari!

But thanks to my awesome husband who reassured me we will always find a way, i started seeing all the good sides of it: sure, most of my friends already have the second one, so it's nice if our second one is not too far apart. They will grow up together, like our first ones did.

Plus I always said I will have my two kids before 30 and I got pregnant the second time around on my 29th year. So, the universe remembered what I wanted.

And, yes, Alia and our second one won't be too far apart as well. So it's nice for them.

Plus, let's face it, i'll be done with pregnancy and diapers faster this way!

Yes, I always wanted two kids, maybe 2 years apart. But once I had Alia, I had this fear: how can you possibly love more than one human being so much, unconditionally, deeply? How can your heart get split in two?

Now, I understand. Your heart doesn't split. Your love for one doesn't shrink.
Your heart gets bigger. It expand. It grows.

After eight weeks of morning sickness, being on my knees in front of the toilets every single day, laying on my couch feeling nauseous every second of the day, not being able to smell or eat or move much, I went to France.

I got blessed that morning sickness stopped for a few days, allowing me to take my three planes without having to run to the toilets onboard. I was alone with Alia, on a night flight. That was my biggest worry. But everything went fine. We arrived in France: I had lost a few kilos and had a big deficit of iron. It made me look like a gothic teenager more than a blooming mother-to-be.

When finally, my appetite slowly came back, we found out I had Toxoplasmosis. This silly bacteria you get from cats, unwashed vegetable and fruits or uncooked meat. Silly because, if you are not pregnant, this bacteria is nothing. You get it, you probably won't even notice, you are immune, end of the story. But if you are pregnant, real damages can be passed onto your baby's brain and eyes.

In the Philippines, it's not a common thing. So, they don't test you for it. In Europe, it is. The test is mandatory in France when you are expecting.

Normally, if you get it while you are pregnant, they will give you antibiotics until the end of your pregnancy to protect your baby. In my case, we had no idea when I contracted it. Therefore, we didn't know the risks the baby could be contaminated already.

As a prevention, I started to take some antibiotics. And we ran some tests to date the bacteria. And I had to change our tickets and stay one more month in France.

There was three scenarios laying in front of me.
Either I had it before getting pregnant, and our baby was safe.
Or I had it just when I arrived in France, and I would continue my antibiotics treatments.
The third one kept me awaken a few nights. If I had it during my three first months and the baby's brain was contaminated, I could do a amnio-synthesis to check the baby. Then I could have an IRM made a few months later and see the damages on the baby's brain. In France, you can choose to have a medical abortion at any time, in the worst cases. Do I need to say more?

We spent a month waiting for all the results. A month away from Daddy-Yo, freaking out alone in Sri Lanka. A month not saying to Alia she may (or may not) have a little sister in a few months. A month of not knowing if my baby was ok.

Until the news came: I got the toxoplasmosis right before I got pregnant. Our daughter was safe.

We found a name for her, of course. Gaia Mayari. Gaia: Earth, City of Light. Mayari: Goddess of the Moon in the Tagalog Mythology. A strong name for a strong girl.

Now, Daddy-Yo is still working in Sri-Lanka, missing his girls as much as we miss him. We got to see him for ten days for my 30th birthday. That was heaven!

Small celebration with Island family

Being by myself, pregnant and caring for a 2 and a half year-old is a roller-coaster.

It taught me I am strong. It taught me I am weak. It taught me I always need to improve my patience. It taught me that my daughter, Alia, is an amazing human being. Even more than I thought she was (and I thought she was pretty damn amazing already, believe me!)

She was the one stroking my hair and cheek while I was vomiting in the toilets. She was the one bringing water to me. She is the one asking if my tummy is "ouchy" and if "baby inside" is ok. She is the one hugging me out of nowhere while we are eating dinner. And kissing me in the morning to wake me up. And sleeping on my shoulder at night.

Very soon, Daddy Yo will be home and we will be a family again. Actually we never stopped being one. Being away from him so long taught me that when you find the one, even though you fight and argue sometimes, distance only makes you stronger.

Where is the kid in you?

A week and half ago, Daddy Yo was out.

I laid down next to a sleeping Alia and enjoyed a me time. Watching a french movie it was!
The movie was called "L'âge de raison" or the Age of reason.

You know when you are 7? In France, we call this like that because this is the time you think you are always right.

Story short, this was this very successful woman who totally forgot about her childhood and past as she is so busy and focused on her carrier, meetings, investments, contracts and financial growth of her company. Until she receives all this letters from the 7 year-old she was.
As a little girl, she went to see a Notary and asked him to send all this letters to herself 25 or 30 years later. This Notary was s touched he kept his promise. Now old and retired, this is his last duty.
Of course, her life was turned upside-down by all this and it ended well.

It made me think about me, before. How was I? What did I wanted to be? How did I hope my life would be? When I was a teenager with a head full of dream?

At around 7 or 8, with my childhood friend Charles

Well, when I was a kid/teen, I was dreaming of being:

- A veterinary surgeon for wild animals (specially wolves and lions)
- A circus acrobat and trapeze artist
- Live in a Gipsy community, bare feet and long skirts, riding horses on the beach of Camargue (don't ask why, I always thought I must have Gipsy roots)
- Live in Jamaica and play drums all day long, listening to Bob Marley

Until I was 14, I wanted to be a vet. Then I had a week internship in our friend's clinic.
I discovered that being a vet includes put down animals. And it cured me from wanting to be one.

I kept my circus dream for quite a long time. My cousin introduced me to circus life when we were 6 years old. She now lives from it. When I was living in Paris and she would come to visit from Switzerland, we used to have mini-acrobatic shows in from of Pompidou museum, in the streets.
We did this until I was 19 and got an unrelated big injury on my back that left me unable to do sports for a couple of years. Now, one of my favorite things in life is still looking at Circus and dance shows.

My cousin Melissa, artist extraordinaire.

About the two next dreams, it lasted until, well... now.
It started at 14 when my childhood friend, Charles and I, dreamt of living in Jamaica, play drums and do skateboard for a living. With some friends, we wanted to create a community where we would all live together and raise our kids as a big hippy community.

My childhood friend, Charles a year ago in the Philippines
when he became the Godfather of Alia.

Looking back, I can say... I did not lost myself much since I was a kid!

Now living on a small Island in the Philippines, walking bare feet on the sand everyday, playing drums with Daddy Yo and Alia. Living how I wanted to live my life.

That is also how I want to raise Alia. Without her loosing the kid in her. So she can grow with her dreams and be who she wants to be, how she wants to be.

I will tell her that I will love her whatever the way she chooses. I will teach her at the end of the day, it is more important to be happy inside than pleasing others.

So in our house, she is allowed to make noise, eat with her hands, climb everything, choose to wear her denim short with a striped shirt and dots shoes, roll of the floor to play, spill water, write on the walls with a pencil, make a mess and help us clean. She is just a little kid and we are two big ones. Still.

It's been too long, my friends.

It's been five months since my last post.

Five long months filled with craziness and business (as in busy!).

Five months when we finally finished building our nest, moved in, went to France to visit my family, Alia grew up too fast, started a new job, survived the biggest typhoon that ever made landfall. 

There is so much to say. But I'm gonna make it short as I don't want to write a 3 volume book for the first time in so many months.

Finally being Home is the best feeling in the World. 

It was a long and hard process. And doing that on top of having a baby was crazy. Add the first year marriage and two massive and crazy puppies on top and you have the craziest year. 

But now, taking the time to fill it up with memories and decorating it is an incredibly nice feeling. 

It's like having a white canvas and infinite colors. And having an unlimited amount of time to do what you want and create your space.

We are almost done with our living room and are working on our room. 

Being able to welcome friends for dinner, organize play dates, hang out at home for days and build Alia a proper play ground is great. Even if Alia's favorite activity right now is to draw on the walls! Well, we have a left-handed artist in the house!

Alia had a blast in France and we had our first no-kids-three-days-date in Rotterdam.

 

She got to spend quality time with her grand-parents, play with her cousins, pick strawberries and raspberries in the farm, eat some freshly cooked food from Lola with the vegetables of the garden, help her Tatay and Lolo gardening, run after the hens and pick up the eggs in the morning, have her first dental check up from Lola with her cousin, swim in the lac of Annecy, meet some family in Alsace even I never met, play a lot with her ninong Lapin and tito Sushi (I think she got some artistic tips from them as they both are amazing artists), run and run and run in the garden of my parent's house.

Alia helping Daddy Yo gardening and proud

Daddy Yo, looking at his baby becoming a 

Mountaineer like him.

Daddy Yo and I had a blast as well. 

We got to make a sweet escape of three days in Rotterdam to visit an extraordinaire friend of us, dancer at Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson the Immortal Tour. The city was really cool, the people are amazing, Pom's family was so welcoming and made us feel like we knew them forever. Plus, I got to go to a club for the first time in a hundred years (there is only beach clubs in Boracay) and got to drink and party without thinking about going home to feed Alia. I got to go home at 3am and sleep until 11am. This was a really cool feeling but being apart from Alia was still a major thing. Won't happen too often...

I got to see my family, enjoy my cousins, spend my birthday in a beautiful house above the lac of Annecy with childhood friends, have barbecue with friends, share love and good news and beautiful vibes.

The highlight of my birthday celebration was when my Tita Catherine brought me with her for a tour of aerobatics. She is a aerobatics World Champion! Daddy Yo had his turn the first year we visited France together and this time was mine. What a crazy, breathtaking, brain shaking experience. I¨felt like I lost all bearings. Nothing was like it was supposed to be. After some loopings and tumblings in the air, it took a soda, a hot bath and a good night of sleep to feel normal again!

Getting ready for the big moment

Now, Alia is all grown up. 

She is talking more and more. She now has words in English, French and  Tagalog. She is mixing it all and start creating pluri lingual sentences. 

After a few month of tantrums due to language frustration, she is learning how to use her words more and more. It gets funnier and easier for us to communicate.

When my parents came to visit the Philippines last month, we had an awesome time visiting Baguio again and shopping for the house. But when we went home to Boracay, we had to anxiously prepare for the biggest and stronger Typhoon that ever made a landfall. That was scary but we survived. Boracay was so blessed and lucky. The eye of the Typhoon was supposed to be on us and wash us away with 7 meter waves. 

But it came earlier than expected, on low tide, which saved us from a water surge. And just before landing on us, the eye veered left, the rain calmed down and Yolanda Typhoon spared us and our beautiful Island. You cannot imagine the joy we all felt when we realized the damages we had were nothing compared to what we were expecting. And you cannot imagine the shock we all had when we realized many places of our beautiful country were devastated, flat, washed away. The number of dead kept on rising and the few images we got to see (whenever one of us could find a place on the Island that had electricity) were unspeakable. 

With a group of friends, we felt we could not stay without doing anything. It was only normal for us to hold hands and help our countrymen. Many groups in Boracay and around the Philippines got organized and started some actions. Here, you can find every details of how we, in our little way, are helping and how you can help: https://www.facebook.com/?q=#/LifeAfterYolanda?ref=br_tf

Daddy Yo is the best with tripod and composition!
Notice the twin outfit of Alia and I.. :)

❝To have another language is to possess a second soul.❞

"One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way." Frank Smith

Since we decided to have Alia, we knew a great challenge was lying in front of us.

Being from different countries, therefore, speaking different languages would be a part of it.

But we decided to turn this into a benefit for her future.

Since she was born, I am only speaking to her in French.

As we are not many French speaking in the Island were I live, she needs to learn it from me since birth. I need to be consistent. I am singing french lullabies to her at nap time and I am looking for french books to read to her when she is going to bed at night.

Because she doesn’t live near my family, it is important for me that she doesn’t feel disconnected with her french roots. Speaking French will help her keep in touch with my parents, sister, relatives and her cousins when she grows up. Every time she sees them, it also help her make the connection. They speak French like her mommy!

It will also help her learn more about my culture and my country. Sharing books, poems and watching movies with her: it is like building our own little bubble where I can show her who I was, how I grew up, what music I liked to listen.

Some things cannot be translated.  

I want to open her window of opportunities: if she wants to study in France later, she is able to move there and keep up with her dreams.

Daddy Yo always speak to her in Tagalog.

I know some people want to teach their kids how to speak English first as it will help them be part of the Global World.

For me, Alia is Filipino as much as she is French. She needs to speak the langague of the country where she was born. Not learning Tagalog as one of her first language would be putting her at risk to be treated like a foreigner in her own country!

And what if she decided to pursue her studies or life here? 

Tagalog will not be taught to her later on, at school. She needs to be understood by anyone in the country where she lives. She needs to know where she comes from and understand the story of her country.

So far, the words she is saying are mainly English.

Most of our friends and all the kids around her speak English to Alia.

And she can hear Daddy Yo and I speaking English together.

She must know it is the fastest way to be understood by all.

But whenever I ask her to hold my hand in french, she gives me her hand. Whenever Daddy Yo ask her to come with him for shower, she goes straight to the bathroom.

A lot of people tell us Alia will be confused, delayed for talking.

Do not underestimate children’s brain! It’s like a sponge absorbing thousand of new things everyday.

Yes, she might mix languages up at first sometimes.

She might answer me in English when I speak French (like Alia’s godmother and her daughter when she was a little girl) but I will keep on speaking to her in French. Because all the languages she hears on a daily basis are printed in her mind.

And when she will be a little bigger and ready to use them, what an amazing advantage for her!!

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart." Nelson Mandela

Brownout means family time on the beach!

Once more, we don’t have a nanny anymore.

But since there is less wind so less work for Daddy Yo, it has been manageable. 

I started again training with my Dragon Boat team and we are getting ready for the competition at the end of the month. Daddy Yo is bonding with Alia every morning from her wake up time until I go home from the training around 9 :30. Sometimes, they surprise me on the beach and we go for a swim or a breakfast before going back home.

This summer is so hot, it’s quite hard being outside too long during the day.

Even in front of the fan, there are days when we are sweating just by blinking.

Yesterday was one of these days.

While Daddy Yo was resting, Alia and I hit the beach early morning and met some friends of us for a coffee. Kids were running on the beach and mommies were sipping on coconut juices. Perfect !

We went back home on time for lunch and before the heat hours.

Afternoon was spent playing and taking several quick showers trying to refresh a bit.

Around 4 :30pm : brownout. Yes, brownout, on top of this heat !

Daddy Yo had a jamming for a summer event on the beach and by 7pm, I would be alone at home with Alia. I like being alone from time to time in the evenings. I watch a french movie, surf the web and sleep early.

But with the heat and no power at home, that was another story. Alia was cranky because she was sweating and I could not imagine myself running after  and following her with a flashlight  around the house or using a fan to ventilate her until the power will be back.

I remember the time before Alia. Anytime there was a brownout, Daddy Yo and I would run to the beach and party or swim until the power was back. So what stopped us to do the same with Alia now?

We decided that, if by 7pm, the power was not back, we would accompagny Daddy Yo at his event, eat dinner on the beach with him and friends then go home when the power would be back again.

As we left the house, the breeze hit us.

Once in the tricycle, we picked up some of the bandmates of Daddy Yo and the drums then took the back road of the island. As we passed by the small street, we could see everybody hanging out with the neighbors, carrying the kids and babies, talking, seating, walking outside.

And that reminded me this is one of the reason why I fell in love with Boracay and the Philippines.

People will not stay home, complaining about the heat and the lack of power. They will just open their door and find another reason to hang out with their friends and family.

Just because of a brownout, my evening turned out  to be perfect. Alia got to dance to her daddy playing drums, I got to eat yummy morrocan food and spend time with friends and by 9pm, we were home with everything back to normal.

Alia did not sleep early like usual but she was happy and more relaxed in the breeze on the beach than under the heat at home.

And her eyes when she saw her dad jamming! It was priceless!!

Beauty and happiness is everywhere with positive thoughts!

This Christmas feeling!

Our Christmas tree with all the gifts underneath.

For the first time in 5 years, I really felt the spirit of Christmas.

Once again, we spent on the Beach, under the sun and the coconut trees. 

And I always had a hard time feeling Christmas without the snow, the cold, the smell of a real Christmas tree, the old box of decorations we have since we are child and the fire in the chimney. 

But this year was special. Alia is here and she was our Christmas spirit!

On Christmas day, Daddy Yo came across with someone he knows. Someone from a foreign country. This person is not Catholic. When he automatically greeted him "Merry Christmas", this guy still and did not answered. Then, he started saying that Christmas was nothing and did not mean anything for him.

Parol on the beach: made out of eggs.

I actually never practiced Christmas in a Catholic way. We would only have our whole family coming at home and sleeping over. We would eat seafood and Foie Gras and chocolate and drink good wine, stay up late at night and talk in front of the chimney. Christmas would only be a family reunion for us.

Santa Claus is the representation of Christmas for me.

But I surely want Alia to know what Christmas means for her dad and his family. 
I would love to discover more by accompanying her to the church for Christmas when she will be bigger. The more knowledge, the more understanding you have of what is surrounding you. And the more acceptance. 


I do not have to embrace it. I just need to respect it.

So we went to Kalibo and bought a Christmas tree. A fake one, yes, but at least I have one!

We bought lights for our tree and the windows outside.

And a lot of gifts. For Alia's friends and most of it for our princess.

How exciting it was to decorate our first own family Christmas tree while drinking wine, after putting Alia to bed!

Every evening, we would put the lights on and enjoy the colors filling up our living room! (We actually still do..)

Over the next weeks, I packed all the gifts while Daddy Yo was building a Parol with a yellow light and red paper.

I even got around 150 Christmas songs on my computer, just for the occasion!

All the time Daddy Yo would ask me what I want for Christmas, I would joke and tell him: "A nanny!"

On the 24th, we took a family walk on the beach and had breakfast in our favorite place, Lemon Cafe. Then, we went to the back beach, in Freestyle Kite Center for Daddy Yo to work and kite a bit. 

He told me we were supposed to interview a potential nanny there. And shortly after the interview, my wish came true!! We have a new nanny! 

Finally, we can both go back to work and our house will be a bit more organized. 

Except Daddy Yo had two lazy and cocooning days when he did not want to leave the house despite the nanny. Just so he could cuddle and play with Alia. I guess their week of intense bonding made the separation difficult for both of them. Believe it or not, she is even more of a Daddy's girl now!

Daddy Yo & his princess.

But our best gift was to suddenly see Alia let go of the couch and walk about 10 steps to reach Daddy Yo and me! I am such a proud mama of a strong little girl!

Anyway, after a day on the beach, we got ready for our Christmas dinner.

Alia was wearing a cute little shirt I hand painted for her, with a Santa Claus hat on it.

We had an amazing traditional Noche Buena with our dear friends Nicole, Kim, Bogs, Lian and their kids, Karen and Buboy.

A table filled with Love and good food!

We stuffed ourself with amazingly good food: Christmas ham, Queso de Bola, freshly baked Pandesal from Lemon Cafe, Lechon stuffed with garlic and chili, fish Lumpia (the best ones!), Carbonara pasta made by our Junior master chef Malia and an amazing Kaldereta. We enjoyed watching the kids fighting against tiredness in order to open their gifts. Alia was the only early bird in bed but the other children followed her sooner or later.

Daddy Yo cutting the Lechon in his cute little apron.

After a late night filled with love and laughter, we all headed home.

On the morning of the 25th, I gathered all Alia's gifts on her mat and brought her in the middle.

Her reaction was priceless! She loved every single present. We spent the whole day in, playing, sleeping and cuddling. I loved every single minutes of this day!

First shot of Alia in the middle of all her gifts!

At night, we had a quiet night with our friends and neighbors Jack and Olya. More food and a bit of wine.

What an amazing first Christmas for our beautiful girl!

What an amazing gift the universe gave us to take care of such a sweet, fun and strong little soul.

Merry Christmas to all!

Alia, first one in bed and for sure, very comfortably settled!

Together we can do so much!

Daddy Yo left for a few days in Manila as his grand-father passed away.

We did not go with him: Alia is very young to witness a wake and funerals.

My morning love affair!

A day before the bad news, our nanny left the house for good, unexpectedly.

So here I am, alone with Alia for already 5 days. Not being able to go to work as long as I don't have a new nanny to take care of Alia.

Good thing Daddy Yo is coming back tomorrow.

Our morning walk on the way to a friend for lunch

A dear friend of mine welcomed me in her house while Daddy Yo is not with us so I won't be totally left alone. 

The though of being just the two of us was a bit overwhelming for me! 

We live quite far (as far as a 7 kilometers long island can be) from the center so I did not want to feel cut from the World for a week.

Frankly? I am exhausted! 

Alia's tooth number 7 went out and I have plenty of bruises from bites to testify.

And she is missing her Daddy Yo so she has been a bit cranky this past two days, having the first tantrums of her life, throwing herself on the floor, rolling and screaming, arching her back and saying a long and sad: "Babaaa"! Heartbreaking! And frustrating!

A new playmate and a lot of laughter this morning!

But we had quite a lot of good bonding and laugh trip and cuddles this past 5 days!

Eating delicious food, walking on the beach with my friend, swimming, listening to beautiful Christmas songs, having lunch in our friend's place who baked an amazing Lemon bar, dealing with Alia alone.

We had a couple of visit, a play date with a friend's little girl who wanted to hug Alia all the time, an unexpected play date with the neighbor little boy who was laughing out loud with Alia, an amazing Christmas party at work with a mascarade theme, a few accidents with a bump on the head, a lot of mosquito bites (despite the plug, the long sleeves and legged pajama and the Citronella) and a baby shower this afternoon.

Alia's face look like she has chicken pox due to a lot of mosquitoes on the first night. So last night, when we had to go to the Christmas party at my work (it's in a big, lust, beautiful garden), I almost bathed her in Citronella oil. Not a single new bites!!! But we had to soap her hard this morning to remove the sticky feeling!

Covered with Citronella oil from head to toes before going to our Christmas party!

I am lucky my friends and my friend's helper took Alia when I needed it the most, carried her while I was eating, played with her while I needed a break or a shower. And Alia was behaving most of the time! Lucky mommy!

She even charmed every single workers who were fixing my friend's bamboo wall every day. They all fell in love with her as she was crawling to the window to smile at them or follow them intrigued.

I am in awe in front of the single moms, even more than I used to be. What a hard job!

Blessed we are who have husbands or help at home! Who can pass our babies on for an hour to take a long shower or eat with our two hands!

Alia was already blessed with a couple of gifts from friends and work. But I did not open them yet. I will put them under our new Christmas tree! I will tell you this story in a couple of days!

At our "Mascarade" Christmas party!

I am beyond excitement to see Daddy Yo again tomorrow and I need rest. But if I have to spend another week alone with my little love, I will gladly do it  all over again!

The two of us are a good team!!

Where there is love there is life

Alia is the happy type of kid.

And I cannot be more grateful for her to be this way !

There is not a day that passes without me to smile a thousand time thanks to her.

An afternoon at home just the two of us!

She loves playing peak-a-boo.

She loves dancing and moving her hands in a close/open motion.

She laugh out loud when we kiss her tummy.

She closes her eyes and smiles when she feels the wind on her face in the trike.

She loves climbing the couch to get the TV remote whe we try to hide it on top of it.

She absolutely loves to put her little hand in our puppy's mouth and giggles when Pampu lick her hand.

She loves crawling around the house without a diaper and throw all my beauty products on the floor. 

She loves to swim in the ocean.

And I love her so!

She smiles to people in the street, in the trikes and make them smile.

About a month ago, I was walking on the beach with Alia on her sling on my hips. I felt someone was following me. I looked back and saw two kids about 7 and 9, jumping behind me and doing faces to make Alia laugh. And she was laughing so much. They kept following me and entertain her for about 10 to 15 minutes until I had to enter in this shop I was going in.

Alia with her favorite tito, Ken and Chocnut the dog

In Boracay, she starts to be known among the tricyle drivers for the baby that smiles to them, laugh out loud if they smile back to her and pinches them if they do not pay attention.

And they always end up smiling, laughing and making faces along with her.

Alia is totally obsessed with trikes. Every time we hop in one, she’ll be excited and trying to reach the handles and the breaks.

Quite a few drivers will turn their mirror facing her so she can look at herself in it and laugh.

Some of them spend the trip making faces to amuse her.

All of them will laugh along with her.

And I always am one proud mommy seeing her spreading happiness around her at such a young age.

Isn’t it promising for the future ?

Happy Buddha: her Halloween costume

Yesterday when we went home from a play date with her buddies and my mommies friends, she was so happy to see her Daddy Yo. While breastfeeding, she stopped, turned her back to me and hugged her Daddy Yo! A long hug, her two arms around his neck.

He melted!

Playing and cuddling

He then left the room to let Alia sleep. As he closed the door of the room, I saw her crawling to the door, sit next to it and say "Baba?". He came back in until she was settled with me in bed.

Once alone with her, I felt a tear rolling on my cheek. She was breastfeeding and I was just happy to have her in my life.

Love is very powerful.

Playing with the computer while Skyping with her Lola back in France

We talked so much about you!

Before Alia came into our lives, we were "party people", travelling, doing sports, living on the beach. When we talked about having a baby, we wanted to be sure we were in synch with what it involved and how we wanted to bring her to the World.

I saw couples who never talked about this things falling apart and fighting about main aspect of education.

I am French. Jewish mom, Catholic dad. My parents raised us in the Jewish culture (and a little bit of religion but not much). I was going to the Synagogue for the main celebrations once a year (twice exceptionnally) when we were not late or skipping it. I stepped in a Church a couple of time for a masse or funerals and weddings but most of the time, I’ve been visiting them as beautiful landmarks.

I travelled in many places around the world since I was 2 years old and I left my parents house to live and study in Paris at 18. I was raised in the countryside and went to school in a public school in a small city and spent my week ends listening to Reggae concerts. I’ve studied Art and Communication, spent an unmesurable nombre of hours in the museum and spent all my week-end partying in my place with friends or drinking Chablis in a small bistrot where Brass band and Jazz band were playing.

Daddy Yo is Filipino. Raised Catholic, altar boy in his young years, born and raised in the Big City of Manila. His grand-dad was in the military and he spent most of his holidays in his farm, learning from him. He spent years playing frisbee and climbing mountains, was a regular in all reggae concerts around his University while drinking beer, lived in his parents place until 28 years-old with four generation in the same house and studied tourism. 

English is both our second language. Boracay became our Home the same year. We had to find a balance to mix all our differences and make our own little blend.

We talked about our  Education. What were the values that were important for both of us? Respect, Family, Tolerance, Communication, Conviviality, Education, Openmindness were part of this Values that are important for us.

We talked about our background. To understand where we were coming from. What our families went through.

We talked about religion. What was important for us. What we were believing in. We learned from each other.

I was living in his country. He came with me to mine. To understand where I grew up, who made me who I am. Went to all the places I used to go as a kid, met my family, friends and neighbors.

Paris, 2010

We learned each other’s cultures, what was taboo in his was not in mine. What was ok in Philippines was not where I grew up (and vice versa). We learned the rules and the customs.

I went to church with him at 5 am for Christmas. It was magic. He watched so many french movies he ended up loving so much. He read « Le petit Prince » (The Little Prince) and made me read « Noli Me Tangere » (The book of their national Hero, Jose Rizal). He's listening to Gainsbourg and I love Freddie Aguilar and Brown Man Revival.

We talked about where I will give birth. What was easier for us? Best for him? Fair for our couple? We decided Manila was the best: It was safe as their hospital are very good. Easy for him to still work in Boracay while I am there waiting for our baby. We could go there at the last moment (and not months ahead as if we'd decide to go back to France). Plus he would need a long visa to stay several months in France. My parents could come more easily in the Philippines than his parents in France.

We talked about religion. How will we bring our kids up? We decided to give her a bit of both. We’ll teach her there are different minds. She will be baptised as it is important for him. I will let him bring her to the church and teach her what he believes in. I will talk to her about my believes also. She might have her own believes one day. We want her openminded.

We talked about our options for school and studies.

About marriage. I did not want a church wedding. He agreed on a civil one.

We talked about what language was important for her to learn. I speak to her in French, Daddy Yo in Tagalog and English is the language she hears all around us. Our helper Ate Jen even speaks to her in Visayan. We want her international.

He respected the fact that I was thinking of bottle feed her. He supported me all the way when I decided to breastfeed.
He respected my choice of not co-sleeping and even bought the crib. But he followed me when I decided to give it a try.

Now Alia is with us, I believe our open talks made a difference. It made it easier for us as we know what to expect in the big lines.

Of course, we will still spend hours talking about the little things when they will come up.

But we know we will stick together when it comes to the main decisions. 

Because we are in together, for the long run. And we are in as a family. Not against each other.

As Anthony Robbins was telling it too well, "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."