I just want to pee alone!

Back when I was pregnant and Daddy Yo suggested me we look for a helper, I gasped!

I haven’t been raised with helpers. I will not have one!

Then Alia was born. And the house was a mess!

I had no time to eat my breakfast because Alia was awake or I was passing out next to her the second she would fall asleep. 

I would try to do the laundry (by hand) whenever I was not feeding her, changing her or sleeping with her or I would let Daddy Yo do it after he came back home from work, cooked dinner and washed the dishes of the whole day.

I was crying when she was crying in the middle of the night.

I would call our neighbor, Tita Caiys or our Land lady Ate Sally and ask them to help me when Alia was screaming because of gas and I still didn’t have time to eat lunch or take a shower.

When we had our first helper, I realized how lucky we are in the Philippines to be able to afford hiring someone to help us. 

Back in Europe, having a helper at home the whole day would be a luxury. It would cost one full salary of ours!

Of course suddenly, our house was spottless. I was able to rest more without worrying about food or laundry. The mornings I was really tired, I could hand Alia over and go back to sleep for an hour or two. I could even start socializing a little bit by going out for a dinner or a drink once in a while.

And all this time I would not cook, clean or wash, I can fully spend it with my daughter. Take time to play with her, bring her to the beach, organize play dates with the other mommies. Being relax around her knowing someone is here to do the house chores.

When Alia was 3 months old, I started training for our Dragon Boat competition with Daddy Yo. Sharing an "us" time without Alia. I even enjoyed a few "me" time over manicures with my other mommy friends and no kids !

I had the peace of mind to go back to work knowing Alia was at home, safe in her familiar environment.

I know I can make it without a helper.

I also know I am a better mom when I have some help.

I am less stressed, less tired, less frustrated.

Having someone helping you at home is not shameful. 

It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother or a bad wife. 

It doesn’t mean you can’t do it by yourself or are lazy. 

It doesn’t mean you will just sit around on the couch and eat chips while watching a movie.

It means you value your time.

It means you did not forget that you are also a woman. Not just a wife or a mother.

It means you recognize you also have some needs : sleeping a bit longer sometimes, having a massage and a manicure once in a while, doing sport, going to work, enjoying a date with your husband or a drink with your girlfriends…

We are not machines! Keeping a household is a lot of work and being a mother is a full time job!

Help can come from a nanny, the grand-parents, a friend once in a while.

This issue I used to have about having a helper was about pride. The pride that I could do it by myself.

Now, I learned.

And i am proud to know now how to simply ask for help.

A year to remember!

The best gift 2012 brought me!

I am welcoming 2013 with a smile. Though, I was not in a hurry for this year to come to an end.

Despite a few down, which is part of life, 2012 has been an amazing year for me.

A year I will cherish and remember all my life.

First, I became a mother. 2012 brought me the most wonderful, fun, strong, beautiful and stuborn daugther. What can make a year more beautiful than the birth of your first child ?

On top of this, it brought me a husband: loving, sweet, funny, disorganized and irritating sometimes but an awesome dad.

And finally, it brought us a home. In the process. But 2012 was the year it started.

We traveled to Malaysia, France and Switzerland.

We welcomed our whole families and friends for the first time in Boracay.

I strengthen some friendships that I believe will last for a very very long time.

We lost some beloved ones.

I shed tears of sadness and happiness.

We argued.

I grew and learnt a lot.

2012 made my world turn upside down!

And at the end of the day, I find my strength in Alia.

She was what made 2012 the best year of my life.

When I look back at 2011 and 2012, things are going better and better.

I know where I am going, what I want and I cannot wait to see what 2013 is holding for me.

Bring it on !

Happy New Year to all from the Astronaut family!

May 2013 be filled with love, laughter, fun & health!

Mr & Ms Astronaut we are!

I officially am married!

And as (not) planned, it was totally freestyle, unprepared and fun!

Photography: Denise Tolentino

Roldan had many idea on how he wanted to propose to me but he's not organized at all!

He asked my dad's permission when we were in holidays in France last year and a half. 
My dad needed help to bring some old stuff at the municipal dump and that's when Roldan talked to him!

Then, he proposed to me the day we came back to the Philippines: on the side walk of a street of Makati, between a KFC and a dirty building and of course without a ring! 
He had no idea on how to know my finger size and he knew I am not a "precious jewellery" lover.

We set the date and I decided to organize it myself. We didn't ask any wedding coordinator to help us. My sister is a graphic designer so she took care of the invitations.


We didn't want the usual Boracay wedding you can see everywhere on the beach. We wanted something away from the crowd and the noise. Something that looks like us. Laid back, fun and no stress.

Photography: Denise Tolentino

Concerning the dress, I wanted anything but a "wedding" dress. No "gone with the wind" style for me. 

The simpler the better.

A very good friend of my mom did my dress in a week or less, after closing her pharmacy (yes, she's not even a designer but she's got gold in the hands). 

We were in France in August to visit so it was really short. She did the perfect dress for me!

My shoes were  handmade a week before the wedding by my friend Django Valmores. 

He's an amazing artist from Mindanao. He's got a shop here in Boracay and in Legaspi market, in Makati where he sells handmade bags, shoes, bracelets, drums...

Roldan's barong was hand painted by a friend of him, fine art graduated and tattoo artist. It was a Sabong, 2 roosters fighting. 

As we wanted something that really looks like us, he went for a short and bear foot and asked to all our guests to wear shorts and beach casual dresses.

The preparation was not a hassle nor stressful as we were very easy with the resort we worked with. As long as everybody could seat and eat, I didn't really care about all the details. I knew their food was quality and very good. And I knew that was their jobs to set weddings up. Not mine. This is not their first wedding but it is for me!!  So I let them handle everything!

The rest was handled by friends.

Our photographer was Denise, my bride's maid as well.

We asked our good friend, DJ Schatz and the drumming band of my husband, the Jungle Boys to play during the wedding. We know we love their music so we let them a complete freedom to choose what to play and when to play it!

Photography: Denise Tolentino

On the D-day, in the hotel room, my friend LiAn did my make up, my friend Cats did my hair and handmade my garter (boheme style). 

My brides maid chose the color of their own dress, yellow. 
It ended up super nice! 
Retro 70's style!!

I was only wearing a headband found in this really nice stone jewellery online shop in France.

Roldan arrived on the beach with a paraw (sailing boat) and the Jungle Boys playing drums on it.

Then, the girls and I went down with the golf cart. Still to the sound of the drums.
We were so unorganized and relaxed, our ninongs and ninangs forgot to walk down the aisle and my parent didn't walk with me. But we had so much fun! 

Our puppy, Pampulutan was the ring bearer. The whole time of the ceremony, we carried Alia in our arms because she didn't want to be far from us. I loved it! 
We'll have the memory of getting married as a family!

We had no program. We only knew we'll see our pre-nup video during the party. A friend of us offered that the company he's working (Dreamscape Asia Production) for will do our wedding video for their portfolio. We just had to pay for their tickets coming here. And they did an amazing job!!!

Photography: Denise Tolentino

Our friend LiAn just grabbed the mic and improvised. We had speeches and a surprised video from my sister. It was really cool! 

My side of the family made us do the "Hora", a traditional jewish celebration dance and our "first dance" (on "Kung Fu fighting" by Carl Douglas!) was the "traditional filipino dance" where the bride and the groom dance and everybody pin money on their gown.

Photography: Denise Tolentino

Our cake was made by our friend Julia Lervik from Lemoni Cafe, in Boracay. She made super yummy cupcakes and a main cake. 

Some were chocolate/fresh strawberry with turquoise icing and some were mango/orange with orange icing (the colors of our invitations). 

The decorations on the cupcakes were mini sailboats, gumamelas and kitesurf boards. 

On the main cake, we asked Julia to make 3 astronauts instead of the usual bride and groom (We really are kind of an Astronaut family!).

We had so much fun we even forgot to cut the cake! But we cut and ate it the day after to celebrate Alia's baptismal.

We didn't want to plan as nothing ever happen as you planned it. So to avoid to be disappointed or stressed, we chose to follow the flow. We knew that having all our friends + our families together would make a great party anyway. 

Photography: Denise Tolentino

I was so touched all our friends and family were there for us. 

A lot of them told me it was one of the best wedding (if not the best) they ever attended. 

Guess what? Me too!

And the coolest thing was we were featured on the rebellious blog The Rebellious Brides saying: "This is by far one of the most beautiful, most moving weddings I have ever seen since RB's existence." Check out the full feature here.

"Love is being stupid together" Paul Valery

Haters will hate and I will still believe

Last night, I received an email from this classmate of mine when I was studying Mass Communication in Paris. It made my day.

To make it short, he told me it was quite weird for him to write this message but seeing what was happening to me, he felt he had to. He went on with the fact he was part of the people who didn’t believe me when I said I was moving to this tiny island in the Philippines, refering to himslef as a slanderous Parisian.

He said that after all, he’ve got to admit I’m holding on what I said and he’s really happy about it.

He congratulated me for my recent wedding and my beautiful daugther.

Photography courtesy of Denise Tolentino

Yes, people criticized me. I didn’t care.

They bad-mouthed my choices. I didn’t listen to them.

I believed in myself and my dreams were louder than all the malicious mind around me.

They were waiting for me to fall. They were waiting for me to fail and come back to France. They were expecting me to fit in where I was supposed to be.

Guess what? I was supposed to be where I am now! And I am staying right here, chin up, stronger everyday.

Now people back in France will know when I say something, I do it.

If I have a dream, I will want it so hard I will end up getting it. With time, work and a push from the Universe.

Don’t ever let people choose for you, intimidate you, make you change your mind.

Follow your heart. Shake your mind. Walk in the untouched path.

I let people hate, talk and slander me.

Because I knew what I was capable of.

I am not the one who will live with regrets.

Hater will always hate..

I don’t want to be one of them.

I will keep living my life and loving it wherever it brings me.

If ever people are waiting for you to fail, it’s only for them to fell better themselves.

Never take it as a failure but as an experience that will make you grow and bring you to the right path. The path that was made for you.

Photography courtesy of Denise Tolentino

"Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I do... it my way!

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."  Rita Rudner

2008 and still counting

In a few days, Daddy Yo and I are going to say « I do ».

What an exciting time for two person who never really thought we would get married one day!

I never saw marriage as this "ultimate proof" of Love.

Alia is our proof. More than any words, promises or signatures!

We can’t exchange her or divorce her. We are linked to her and to each other through her forever.

But getting married after Alia was the best way to celebrate our new family, bring our families and friends together in a same place and give Alia and our family more security.

So here we are !

We wanted this event to be anything but a hassle, a stress or something we would do to please others.

So we did it our way.

A disorganized way, last minute preparation, improvisation.

This is us!

My girlfriends told me yesterday I was the coolest bride-to-be ever.

But for me, as long as friends, music, food and drinks are there, it will be an awesome party !

It’s a day we are supposed to enjoy.

It’s not a day to impress your loved ones.

It’s a day where you’re supposed to have fun while seeing all your friends and families partying as one big family.

I believe the more you organize every single detail, the less you’ll get to enjoy. As nothing ever goes as you planned it in the first place.

So I choose the unexpected, the improvisation, the surprise!

The big lines are drawn. Let the rest follow.

We will bring a bit from both our cultures and religions.

This day is supposed to look like us.

We chose not to listen to anyone who will try to push us in a way we did not like.

So screw you, detailed plannings and conventions!

I can’t wait to see my family here.

My parents and my sister came here many times.

A few of my friends and cousins are not Island virgins anymore as they visited us already.

But this will be the first time for my best friend, my little brother/childhood friend, my oncles and ants, my little cousins (who are already taller than me) to come. 

And discover where I live !

This will be the first time for my best friend to meet my daugther.

They know how we are.

We’ll do it our way as we always did !

"We're all a little weird.  And life is a little weird.  And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love."  Robert Fulghum, True Love